A Tricky Supervision Challenge
Laurie Weiss, Ph.D.
Many managers believe that treating their team members as
responsible adults will assure excellent results. The truth is
that while this usually is effective, some people need much
firmer limits than others to perform their jobs.
When I give her a direction, she says she understands, but then
she acts as if she can do just as she pleases. Ellen, the
manager of a rehabilitation hospital unit was discussing her
frustration in supervising one of her social workers. Ellen
would much rather help Angelique be successful at her job than
to fire her, but things have not been going well.
Angelique has been on the unit for a year and a half, but Ellen
has only been supervising her directly for a few months. Ellen’s
frustration began when she noticed the social worker’s frequent
absences.
She is on a salary, and has some flexibility, but she is
expected to be here forty hours a week. She has been coming and
going whenever she pleases. Despite my warnings she still
refuses to consistently even tell me when she will be gone. When
I placed a written reprimand in her file, she cried, and
promised to do better, but she hasn’t.
I have even told her that she is inviting me to micro-manage
her, but I am reluctant to cause her the embarrassment of having
to punch the time clock, when none of the other workers at her
level do that.
As Ellen and I discussed the situation, I learned that Ellen
was already micro-managing Angelique. Whenever they had a
supervision session, Ellen was taking extra pains to make
certain that Angelique understood exactly what hours she was
expected to be on the unit. We both laughed at the absurdity of
helping someone with a Master’s degree to read a basic time
schedule.
When we looked at how Angelique had invited Ellen’s
micro-management, it was obvious that Angelique was acting like
a child who had not learned to respect limits and boundaries.
Ellen was being invited to act as her parent. Ellen kept
reminding Angelique about the work requirements, and when
Angelique did not use this information Ellen was first surprised
and then increasingly frustrated.
When Angelique’s response to discipline (being written up) was
tears, Ellen felt an impulse to protect her and not cause her
further embarrassment. Instead she tried to be understanding
rather than critical. When that didn’t work either, Ellen asked
for coaching.
It’s a Power Struggle
It’s not unusual for a manager and an employee to get into a
power struggle like Ellen has with Angelique. It is especially
common for people who are still in power struggles with their
own parents to get into power struggles with authority figures.
Managers and supervisors are readily available authority
figures.
Instead of seeing the manager as just another person whose job
happens to be to give others instructions about how to do their
jobs, the Angeliques of the world see managers differently. They
see managers as enemies with whom they need to struggle to prove
that they are independent and autonomous.
Supervisors at work, and significant others in private life,
are the prime targets for their need to establish their
independence by repeatedly creating and resolving power
struggles.
Creating Appropriate Limits
Angelique had managed to create a power struggle with Ellen, and
Ellen, like many forward thinking managers, was confused about
what to do. Although she did not want to be Angelique’s parent,
she did need to provide firm, matter-of-fact consequences for
any team member who ignored important rules.
When Angelique experiences this discipline she can decide
whether or not to give up the struggle and act like a mature
adult in the workplace. Whether Ellen likes it or not, she
probably can’t help Angelique to become a productive member of
the unit without providing these consequences.
Ellen confirmed that this was probably necessary. She knows that
Angelique grew up in a wealthy, overindulgent family, that
Angelique’s father purchased a house for her to live in, and she
has few financial responsibilities. Ellen noted, “She has
trouble setting appropriate limits for some of the patients she
works with, too. Is this another sign of her need for limits?
Once the situation became clear, Ellen created a plan. She
decided to warn Angelique that if she does not follow the units
guidelines about working hours and appropriate notification this
month, she will have to punch the time clock next month, and
will have written notice warning her of termination placed in
her file. If she does not follow procedures with the time clock,
she will then be terminated.
Ellen was relieved. I want to get out of the power struggle and
supervise her appropriately. She is certainly intelligent enough
to keep her job if she wants it.
Laurie Weiss, Ph.D., is an internationally known executive
coach, psychotherapist, and author.
Laurie Weiss, Ph.D., Master Certified Coach, mycoachingbio
Expert Coaching for Personal and Working Relationships
Empowerment Systems, 506 West Davies Way, Littleton, CO 80120
303-794-5379 Fax 303-794-5408, www.empowermentsystems.com
For more Secrets for Turning Difficult Conversations into
Amazing Opportunities for Cooperation and Success visit Laurie
at www.DareToSayIt.com
