We are meant to live a life of love. . However, no matter how successful some are in other aspects of their lives, they don’t feel it’s possible to have the same success in love. They tell themselves to “be realistic.”

Being realistic about relationships” is considered natural as we “grow up” and give up the fantasies, foolishness and dreams of childhood. But nothing could be further from natural. Being in love is the most mature and realistic thing you can do. It energizes your life, fills you with positivity, creates generosity and makes every moment beautiful. The body heals the heart is happy. The real question is, why aren’t we in love all the time? How can we learn to fall in love with all of life? Here are some ways to answer that question and turn your life upside down. You will learn how to clear away weeds in your garden and then realize “the entry point is right where you are.

1) THE ONE RIGHT BESIDES YOU Most of the time we are searching and searching for the right person. Now it is time to stop running around seeking what is right in front of your eyes. Look at a person who is close to you right now – anyone it happens to be. Notice the ways in which you push him away. Stop doing that. Allow the two of you to be together in whatever way you are. Let all of it be fine just as it is.

Do the same thing tomorrow with someone else. We dismiss so many people who are in our worlds, while waiting for the “right one” to appear. The more we can be “right” with everyone, the more we can open up to what is being offered now, the fuller and more joyous our lives will be.

2) PLAYING AT LOVE So many complain that they are not loved. The reason for this can be quite simple. They are so busy playing roles and games that the partner never gets to know who they really are. Notice what roles (or games) you play in relationships, and what roles you demand of others as well. See if you are in love with the person, or with the role he is playing right now. Why not let the roles go and simply be who you are. Who we are is always loveable and beautiful. It’s the roles that get in the way.

3) LETTING HIM COME AND LETTING HIM GO One great obstacle in living a life of love is the tendency to hold on. We grasp and cling to each, preventing the freedom of love from arising on its own. When someone comes into your life (or day) practice letting him come. Welcome the person – whoever he is. Enjoy what it is he brings. When it is time for a person to go away, practice letting him go. Do not turn the person’s leaving into an experience of rejection, loss or abandonment. Realize that his leaving has nothing to do with you. It is simply time for him to go. Do this with yourself as well. Let yourself come and go freely in life, not tying yourself in unnecessary chains. The more we free others and ourselves, the more easily we fall in love.

4) PUTTING YOUR BAGGAGE DOWN Many feel that love is not possible unless all their demands are met. They can be quite amazed to discover that these demands don’t lead to happiness. They just may be obstacles to falling in love.

Take a look at what you feel is absolutely necessary in relationships. Now look at it again. Realize this is baggage you are carrying that may be keeping all kinds of people and possibilities away. Not only that – this baggage can be making you fearful and rigid, not open to what is available for you.

Let one of these demands subside. At first let it go for just one day and see how it feels to be without it. (Remember you can always take it back again). Now try another day. As we do this many times, we may find that that which we thought was crucial for our lives was really getting in the way. The more we do this the more light and happy we will feel. Not only that, but all kinds of new people, possibilities and situations we never noticed will start coming onto our path. We have made room for them by putting our baggage down.

5) GIVING GIFTS Giving and receiving are the essence of relationships.To open up to falling in love, it is important to sart giving naturally. What gifts do you give others in relationships? Take a few moments and also see what you hope to receive in return. Now find something new you can give to somebody. Give it. Do this everyday. Do it with all kinds of different people, without great fanfare and without expecting something in return. Then each day take a moment to find out what kind of gift you would like today. (Can be simple – a walk in the park, new lipstick, time with someone you care for.) Now give this to yourself each day.

Although this exercise is simple, it is extremely powerful. When you give, remember not to look for anything in return By living with this open, generous mind, all kinds of other gifts come to you naturally.

6) MAKING FRIENDS WITH YOURSELF Many say they are lonely, even with a partner at their side. This is simply because they have not yet made friends with themselves. Once they make friends with themselves and are able to be who they are, it is impossible to be lonely anymore. Make friends with yourself. Spend time noticing who you are. Accept all parts of yourself. Stop judging and rejecting what is going on inside. Be still and look within. Accept and understand that you are perfect just as you are, that change and growth come naturally. Choose to have relationships with those who feel this way too.

Copyright 2005 Brenda Shoshanna

Discover more surprising truths about love which will save your relationship and make it the best it can be. Check Dr. Shoshanna’s new e-book Save Your Relationship, (21 Basic Laws of Successful Relationships), http://www.truthaboutlove.com Dr. Shoshanna is a psychologist, and relationship expert who shows you why and how it is impossible to fail at love. She is the author of many books including The Anger Diet, Zen and the Art of Falling in Love and others. Contact her at topspeaker@yahoo.com, http://www.brendashoshanna.com

Romance is the spice of life. It’s not difficult to visualize how dull and boring life would be without romance. Have you ever paused to wonder what it is that brings enthusiasm in life? Romance is that elixir that makes you vibrant, vivacious and full of vitality. Everyone has their own idea of romance and romantic ideas, what are your ideas of romance?

In the lines, by Shirley Bassey “I’d like to run away from you, but if you didn’t come, and find me … I would die.” the essence of love and romance has been beautifully depicted. Romance is something that gives comforting touch to one’s heart. Someone who’s sensitive about his or her beloved’s need, is romantic. Just being a hard-core romantic and not demonstrating your love openly is so unromantic. You need to put other work aside and show to your sweet heart that you care for him or her. The idea of romance can be as simple as a peck on a cheek, a warm hug or just uttering those three miraculous words “I love you.” These gestures appear romantic when your beloved is least expecting them, otherwise they are the boring hackneyed way of saying that you care. Novel romantic ideas are like, “life and blood” of any romantic relationship.

For some people romance means the spirit of adventure, a sense of anticipation of the unexpected, a view of exciting spectacles at every bend of the road. For many others romance involves the mysterious and the unknown. Like ‘magic casements opening on the foam of perilous seas,’ as Keats would put it. Romance sweeps in all the treasured experiences from the mysterious to the magical and the miraculous. Yet for most of us romance is an expression of love. When we talk of romantic ideas we refer to all the little things that can keep the flame of love burning bright in our hearts.

We all know that it isn’t enough to love a person; it is equally important to express our love in a relationship. Love without expression is as good as not there. You need to show your love, not only in words but also in gestures that speak louder than words. You have to devise novel ways of letting your love know how much you care. You have to find new ideas to express your love every day, if not every moment. Thinking of novel ways of saying ‘I love you’ is what romantic ideas are all about.

Everyone is not a poet, yet everyone needs to kindle the flame of love lest it fades away. This site on romantic ideas is a treasure house of fresh romantic ideas. The charm of an idea lies in its freshness, and nothing goes stale faster than ideas. So, look for absolutely novel romantic ideas to let the warm Love in!

Charles Welf is the author of the site secret-romantic-ideas.com. To learn more about romance and recieve a free eBook “101 Romantic Ideas” visit Secret Romantic ideas

The Emotions

Divorce is a scary, lonely and misunderstood process for most people, particularly when there are children involved. The mutual friends enjoyed during the marriage may not be of help because those individuals may not want to “pick a side.” A divorce will introduce you to an entirely new balancing act.

The Effect on Productivity at Work

You must be conscious of how the divorce process affects your ability to function on your job. There may be occasions when you will feel overwhelmed by a typical day’s workload. On such occasions, you may wish to apportion work in terms of what you can handle.

You may at times find yourself uncharacteristically testy and acerbic to friends and colleagues, uncommunicative, depressed, and distracted. You should try to be alert to these personality and mood changes and work with a counselor to solve them. At times this may involve temporarily modifying project responsibilities or adjusting assignments until you achieve a level of equanimity. On still other days, you may not be able to cope with the workplace or home environment at all, no matter how light the workload. When this happens, it may be prudent to request a brief personal leave. If your behavior and interaction cannot be altered through temporary changes, you may need to seek professional counseling during this stressful period.

Keep in mind that while going through a divorce you will face numerous demands on your time: meetings with an attorney, accountant and counselor, possibly locating a new residence (and furnishing it) and establishing new lines of credit. Plan ahead where possible for these contingencies by asking your employer for projects that do not have a tight deadline. Flexible working arrangements, such as job-sharing, or the opportunity to compensate for lost time by working in the evening or on weekends, are other possibilities.

You should not let others treat you as an emotional cripple. You are probably already experiencing feelings of helplessness and an inability to control your life. By being overprotective and shielding you from the daily realities of the workplace or running interference with fellow employees or clients, the employer may only exacerbate those feelings. Work may be the only place you can achieve a sense of self-worth and personal strength during this difficult period.

The Process

Some people winding their way through the divorce process may experience fatalistic or, conversely, unreasonably hopeful feelings, and may rely on divorce process myths that further complicate the situation (for example, a belief that the system is entirely gender biased). Unfortunately, the legal process is not designed to address emotional issues for the participants. Although there are milestones, such as filing the initial documents, there are no true emotional releases. Even the finalizing of a divorce is a bittersweet experience and is likely to feel like a letdown. No one truly wins in a divorce because the estate is always divided and both individuals have fewer assets than prior to the divorce. Unfortunately, the legal process is often one of attrition. The time and expense of the legal process often dictates the results as one of the parties can no longer afford the resources or the time to continue to dispute issues.

The many difficult aspects of the legal process often cause frustration and result in increased anger and hurt. In combination with the plethora of negative emotions which led to the divorce in the first place, one facing a divorce may turn to revenge as a primary motivation and extend the divorce proceeding to hurt the other spouse. On the other hand, a spouse may prolong the divorce process in the hope that reconciliation might occur.

The Solutions

Mediation may be the best answer. If you and your spouse can still communicate and have some common ground, mediation may be the most economical, efficient, and effective way to resolve the issues in the divorce. The mediator must be well trained and be competent in the area of family law. You should consult with an attorney before and after the mediation to be properly advised on negotiation of the issues and on whether the final result is a comprehensive solution.

You may need guidance in selecting an attorney. Your union, company corporate attorney or human resource department may be a source of names. The attorney should be practicing primarily, if not exclusively, in the area of family law (the area has become too complicated to be effectively handled by the generalist). The attorney should have the most current research software and resources available within the office (Lexis and FinPlan Divorce Planner are good examples). Competence, comfort and convenience are three primary considerations in selecting the attorney. Evaluate whether the attorney has a plan which will properly allocate resources to achieve realistic and wise goals.

You should be cognizant of the importance of limiting conversation with the attorney to the nuts and bolts and not try to convince the lawyer that the soon to be ex-spouse is a less than admirable human being; that’s for a counselor. It will also save time and resources for an already stretched budget. Also, one should not fear asking another attorney for a second opinion at any point in the process. It is no more improper than having a doctor provide a second opinion on a serious medical condition.

The divorce process is time consuming in even the simplest cases and will make demands upon your schedule. Because the courts and your attorney are probably working the same schedule as you are, it is probable that some absences and interruptions of work will be unavoidable. Court dates, especially, are not optional. Advise your employer immediately of any court dates, as those occasions may require an absence from work for at least one half day. When you provide documentation regarding income or other employment information, keep in mind that the courts have strict guidelines and time limits. Promptly providing the necessary information is essential.

Lastly, as an attorney, I remind my clients that the legal process of divorce is basically to divide assets, arrange custody, establish support, and address insurance and debts among other issues. It is not the last argument or the final revenge. While the attorney can assist a person going through the divorce process on the legal matters, emotional help is more appropriately available from close friends or professional counselors.

Please contact me if I can ever be of assistance in answering a question about legal representation in the divorce process.

About The Author

Charles Goldstein practices family law in Minneapolis, Minnesota. He is committed to providing accessible, effective and reasonably priced family law litigation and mediation services. For a free telephone consultation, call 952.449.5299. http://www.fmlylaw.com

Divorce is a painful and messy business. Divorce touches us all in some way. We maybe the product of divorce or we may know someone who has gone through a divorce. The scars that are left can be life altering to say the least.

One of the most difficult things to witness is your best friend going through a divorce. You can see the pain and suffering a friend of yours is going through. Perhaps your friend is very angry and bitter and that can put a strain on the relationship.

If your best friend is in the middle of a divorce or has recently gone through a divorce you must be patient and understanding in order to help them through this very difficult time.

If you are talking with your friend and you happen to say something that makes them angry or upset, just remember they are probably not angry or upset at you. They are most likely; angry at the situation they are in. If they say something that might be hurtful to you, let it pass and try to put yourself in their situation. Unfortunately, they are probably lashing out and you just happen to be there.

When a person is going through a divorce, they can handle the pressure and change in many different ways. For some people, they want to surround themselves with friends and family and discuss the situation openly. Other individuals, feel like a complete failure and what nothing to do with other people. Instead they prefer to be by themselves and think about the changes in their lives. Recognizing what your friend wants is an important step to helping them. Respect their boundaries and allow them to set the pace for discussion.

When my brother went through his divorce, he commented to me that he felt like a complete failure. At the time, I didn’t understand him. Having gone through my own divorce recently, I can now relate to how he was feeling. After my separation, I felt ashamed, guilty and like my brother, I felt as though I had failed miserably.

When you are speaking with your best friend after a divorce, just remember they are probably feeling like a failure themselves. At that moment, they do not need to hear what they are doing wrong or what they need to improve upon. What they need are friends that can listen and empathize with their situation. Be supportive and offer upbeat advice when the situation warrants.

If your best friend shows no interest in getting together like you use to do in the past don’t panic, they probably just need some time by themselves. What you should do is maintain contact and communication. Don’t push it though. Invite them out even if they continue to refuse. Show them you are interested by dropping a quick email or phone call just to see how they are doing. When you talk to them, try not to dwell on the divorce or separation but on other positive things that is happening in their lives.

Gary Kelly is co-creator of the online dating website for golfers, DateAGolfer.com and PuttingForPar.com, a golf website specializing in personalized ball markers

Did you know that the main predators of early humans were large cats? Its true! Recent scientific studies have shown conclusively that our earliest ancestors were preyed upon by large feline hunters. Funny that we are instinctually afraid of spiders and snakes but it was big cats that were the real danger.

Says Dr. Robert W. Sussman, approximately 6 to 10 percent of early humans were preyed upon by cats and other predators. According to evidence that includes teeth marks on bones, talon
marks on skulls and holes in a fossil cranium into which sabertooth cat fangs fit, early humans were definitely “on the menu”. So what does this mean today? And what does it have to
do with finding a life partner?

RAS to the rescue.

RAS stands for reticulating activation system and it is the part of your brain specifically designed to keep you alive in a world filled with teeth, talons and tigers. The RAS has the job of protecting us from our environment. It constantly scans incoming signals from the eyes, ears, nose, skin and other senses, searching for signs of danger. When it receives a signal, that it even suspects of being a threat, it triggers the endocrine system and dumps things like adrenaline into your body in preparation to take action. When your RAS has reacted to an environmental stimuli it then categorizes and files it under “Patterns to Watch Out For” and goes back to seeking danger.

Now here is where it becomes interesting, because we now have this “pattern” in our mind that is literally governing what we pay attention to. Here is the good news. You can program your
own RAS! And this, my friend, is the secret to finding your perfect life partner.

The RAS is active all the time and its main job is to protect you. So how do you use this to find your perfect life partner? You must “program” or activate, if you prefer, your own RAS to
seek out the perfect life partner for you. And to do this you need to be very clear indeed about what you are looking for!

Think about the last time you were excited about buying something. Could be a new car or a “perfect” piece of clothing. You saved and scrimped and waited for a sale and finally got that
thing you wanted. You walk triumphantly out of the store and suddenly all around you you see that type of car or that outfit. What has happened here is that you have programmed your “internal computer” to pay attention to that specific thing and now you see it everywhere.

To use your inner “computer” in your quest for a perfect life partner you have to get clear on what you are looking for in a that partner. Write it down and then keep refreshing your vision
till you achieve your goal. Sounds too simple right? Well there are other “tips and tricks” you can use to speed up your life partner quest but that is another story!

Sasha LeBaron is a retired fire fighter and author of two books as well as many articles on the specific techniques and tools involved with finding your perfect life partner. He lives in the gulf islands of BC, Canada with his perfect life partner and a large fluffy cat. Learn how you can find YOUR perfect life partner in as little as ten minutes per day at http://www.FindYourPerfectLifePartner.com.

Buying engagement rings online doesn’t have to be confusing or intimidating. In fact, the nice thing about shopping online is that you can browse several online stores without the hassle of traveling from store to store listening to endless sales pitches. Shopping for an engagement ring online can be quite a good experience if you buy from reputable jewelers like Blue Nile and Mondera. Make sure you get an appraisal done by a GIA certified appraiser within one month after your purchase in case there are any issues.

The first thing you’ll want to consider is your ring size. If you don’t know what it is, most jewelry stores in your town can take your ring size quickly. If you don’t feel like going to a jewelry store, then you can get it online. Sites like Blue Nile will send you a ring sizer within several days. How’s that for service!

Next, you’ll want to decide what style and type of metal is right for you. White and yellow gold come in 14K or 18K. 14K has more alloy in the mixture and is therefore harder than 18K gold. This means it wears better and doesn’t scratch as easily. This is something to consider if you work with your hands a lot. 18K gold is more valuable, obviously because it has more gold in it, but is softer and more yellow in color. The yellow could bring out more of the yellow in your diamond if the diamond has some yellow in it as most diamonds do. Platinum is another metal that is becoming popular these days. Its very hard and durable so it doesn’t scratch as easily as gold does, and it really brings out the luster in a diamond. There are thousands of styles to choose from online, so you shouldn’t have much trouble finding something you love.

Diamonds are graded according to three main factors, Cut, Clarity, and Color. Cut refers to the shape of the diamond. There are many different shapes, but the most brilliant diamonds are round cuts. That’s because if the round shape is cut properly (i.e. ideal cut), the maximum amount of light is reflected back to you, bringing out the maximum brilliance of the diamond. If the round diamond is not cut to ideal proportions, some of the light leaks out of the bottom of the diamond causing a loss of brilliance.
The next grade is clarity. Clarity refers to how many inclusions, or flaws are in the diamond. Diamonds are rated Flawless (no imperfections) to VVS 1 & 2 (very, very slight), to VS 1 & 2 (very slight), to SI 1 & 2 (slight), to I diamonds (imperfect). I would stay away from I diamonds, because they tend to be cloudy, ugly looking diamonds that have the potential to crack in some instances. They may be cheap, but not worth the money you do pay. If you’re on a budget, stay in the SI 1 to VS 2 range, since the inclusions are generally not noticeable to the naked eye. You’re definitely going to pay less than you would pay for a flawless or VVS 1, 2 diamond and the differences aren’t all that noticeable.

Color is the third grading criteria. Although there are many different colors of diamonds around the world, most diamonds are yellow in color if they are not colorless. The grading starts with D (or colorless) diamonds and works through the alphabet; E, F, G, H, I all the way down to Z, which is a yellow colored diamond. Of course, you’ll pay more for the D, E, and F colors. When you get past J color, the yellow starts to become noticeable, so stick to above J in color and you should be fine.

The final consideration is the design of the ring. If the ring has a lot of accent diamonds that are set in prongs, it will tend to snag on things, potentially losing one of your diamonds. The safest settings have channel, or pave set accent diamonds, which have no prongs. The center diamond will generally be set in prongs and this is to bring out the maximum beauty, because it allows the most light in. It can either be a 4 prong or 6 prong setting. Obviously, a 6 prong setting is safer and I would recommend it for any diamond over 1 carat. If you have a 6 prong setting for any diamond under a carat, the diamond tends to get lost in the setting. A cathedral setting helps to protect the center diamond somewhat by partially covering the sides of the diamond against sudden impacts. Above all, pick a design you love while keeping in mind the practicality of wearing your ring forever.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Paul Kozar is an ex-jeweler and now owner of Engagement Rings Online, a website dedicated to helping couples find their perfect ring online.

URL: http://www.a1-engagement-rings-planet.com
ADDRESS: Coon Rapids, MN.
E-MAIL: info@a1-engagement-rings-planet.com

An elderly engaged couple go for a stroll to discuss their wedding plans. On the way, they pass a drugstore. The man suggests that they go in. He addresses the man behind the counter.

“Are you the owner?”

The Pharmacist answers, “Yes”

“Do you sell heart medication?”

“Of course we do.”

“How bout medicine for circulation?”

“All kinds.”

“Medicine for rheumatism?”

“Definitely.”

“How about Viagra?”

“Of course.”

“Medicine for memory?”

“Yes, a large variety.”

“What about vitamins and sleeping pills?”

“Absolutely.”

The prospective bridegroom replies, “Perfect! We’d like to register here for our wedding gifts.”

It might be intended as a joke, but the fact is that medical advances are keeping us alive longer. One result is that many of us are re-marrying in our later years.

Two couples that re-married in their later years are Lois and Jim, and Elsie and Colin. “We eloped, but there was no ladder!” laughed 83-year-old Jim when he described how he and 74-year-old Lois married in October 1997. They lived two doors from one another in the same apartment block.

“Would you like a whisker rub?” Jim laughingly asked Lois one day in the elevator, after she had commented on his magnificent beard.

A firm “No thanks” was the chuckled response from Lois.

“Well then, how ‘bout dinner?” Jim persisted.

“Dutch,” said Lois.

Jim’s wife of 49 years had passed away and although she was previously married, Lois had been living as a single person for 17 years. Their relationship quickly blossomed. Two and one-half months after they met, a Marriage Commissioner pronounced them man and wife. Their children surprised them by renting the honeymoon suite at a local hotel.

“You should have seen us!” Lois said. “A couple of wrinkly old farts sitting in the Jacuzzi tub drinking champagne in our bathing suits! We just laughed ourselves silly.”

And they are still laughing despite the fact that they are no longer married. Jim and Lois spent four years together and then decided that being married wasn’t what they wanted. So, they agreed to divorce but continue to have a strong friendship. They speak to each other daily, are travelling companions, go to movies and take part in other social activities. They are, as Lois says, “best buddies.”

Colin and Elsie, met when they were both members of the same choir and have been married for two years. Elsie taught piano and singing for 61 years. Music continues to be important to both of them. Elsie said “Colin asked me one day if there was a Mr. anyone in my life and of course I said there wasn’t. I had noticed him before he asked me. I found him very interesting.” They started to spend time together and found they had many interests in common. Colin had been married for 53 years to his childhood sweetheart. When she died, he was devastated. “I read a lot of books about death of a loved one and they helped me to realize that I could continue to live and enjoy life. They helped me to see it was my wife who died and not me.” Elsie too, had been married before, but she had been single for a number of years when she met Colin. They married in a small private church ceremony and told their respective families after the fact. They said they “didn’t want a fuss.” They have 11 children between them as well as grandchildren and great grandchildren.

It doesn’t really matter what age people are when they fall in love. Usually, young people meet, marry and spend a lifetime getting to know one other, often becoming more alike with each passing year. People under the age of 40 years could be considered more flexible as they search for ways to communicate and live together in harmony. As we age, we become more set in our ways, almost to the point of predictability. Learning to live with someone new once you are past the age of 65 or 70 years of age could be challenging. Despite this fact, it seems that more people are re-marrying later in life than ever before.

Studies have shown that people who are married live longer than people who are single. Walking through life hand-in-hand with someone else does seem to ease some of the burdens and crises that go along with living no matter what the age.

There are also financial benefits in sharing living expenses. Under current law, retired couples are penalized for marrying Yet couples who choose to live together are not affected by this law. But either way, paying the bills becomes less onerous when you can share with a partner.

Loneliness is an issue for many seniors who lose their life partner(s). It could be difficult to get out and mix with people again as a single after decades of living with someone else.So, if you are not quite ready for the dating game, but would like to meet people, here are some suggestions:

For internet savvy seniors, checking out internet sites could be a way to lessen the loneliness. You can meet people all over the world without leaving your home.

www.sassyseniors.com
This site has information on just about anything and everything - you might be interested in. From cars, to home, to health issues.

www.50plusfriends.com
This is a group of people from all over the world who chat together and frequently arrange for “cyber meets”, where members meet in small groups, usually in friendly and public places. This is a safe and clean site where you can find friendly caring people.

If you are not comfortable on the internet, then there are other ways to mix and meet people.

1. Volunteering

· Meals on Wheels

· Hospital

· Running errands for folks who cannot get out

· Canvassing for non profit groups

· Hospice House

There are so many organizations that need help these days due to cutbacks in funding.

2. Special Interest Groups to join

· Choirs

· Bird Watching (naturalist societies)

· Historical Societies

· Dance groups

· Clubs (camera, computer)

3. Fitness

We are told we should exercise 30 minutes each day. There are many different types of exercise specifically geared to seniors.

· Swimming (aqua fit)

· Osteoporosis fitness classes

· Senior aerobics

· Walking · Joining fitness studios

· Yoga

· Tai Chi

Although Jim and Lois, Colin and Elsie have an the ability to laugh at almost any situation that occurs in their lives, both couples seem to view life as though the glass is half full and, as a result, they find the joy that they look for on a daily basis.

Marrying when you are a senior may take some extra compromise, but it can give you great happiness and can even add to your longevity. Both couples tell me that the secret to finding joy is being able to communicate openly with one another.

Some things never change.

Carole Fawcett is a Stress Management Consultant, Laughter Therapist, Therapeutic Clown Teacher and Freelance writer. She lives in the beautiful Okanagan Valley in British Columbia, Canada, with her dog Huey. Carole is frequently heard to say “If you are not having fun, you are doing something wrong”. You can find out more about Carole at http://www.afunnybusiness.ca

Your credit rating may be your most important asset. Many people do not realize the effect a divorce can have on personal credit. When they do, it is often too late. Don’t let this happen to you. If you are currently involved in a divorce, or if you may be going through a divorce in the near future, there are several steps you can take to protect your credit rating.

“I constantly see divorcees having their credit destroyed as the result of divorce,” says Karen Meislik, a divorce attorney in New Jersey. “You can spend your life establishing good credit, only to have it ruined in just a few short months. I always stress this to new clients and make sure they do everything they can to protect themselves.”

Throughout your divorce, you must make sure that your bills are paid on time. Do not refuse to pay bills in an effort to harm your spouse. You and your spouse are obligated to pay these bills, so you will be hurting yourself just as much your spouse. Failure to pay will harm your credit and will remain on your credit report for the next seven years.

You may also consider putting a fraud alert on your credit report. Although this will prevent you from gaining instant credit, this will also prevent many creditors from approving new accounts without speaking to you first.

Following the divorce, you can protect your credit by learning your credit history and score. You can do this by obtaining a copy of your credit report. Most states entitle you to a free credit report every year. New federal law does so too. Be sure to get a copy of your credit report from multiple credit bureaus, as your information may vary on the different reports. If there are any inconsistencies, or any information is incorrect, or even if something confuses you, call the bureau and find out what the problem is. You need to understand your credit report if you are going to protect yourself.

If you think that any information on your credit report is incorrect, you need to notify the credit bureau immediately. They will send you a form, speak with the creditor, and notify you of the outcome. If you are dissatisfied with the result, you can add a statement to the report explaining your side of the story.

For more information about divorce, credit and/or a divorce attorney in New Jersey, please click here.

Let’s talk about what the groom wears when the temperature is sizzling and you have an outdoor wedding. Men, do I have your attention? Brides, pay attention, too.

Traditionally (don’t you sometimes resent that word?) the groom appears in a tuxedo with a cummerbund and perhaps a bow tie and vest that matches the brides colors or the theme of the wedding. And, yes, it is elegant. A man who lives in Levis or in shorts and T shirts is completely transformed in appearance when he puts on a tux and people are wandering around looking for the groom because they don’t recognize him. Even if you’re used to seeing him in suits, there’s something exceptional about the way he looks in a tuxedo. We have to admit that a man in a tux looks awesome.

But let’s get real. Let’s talk about weddings held outside in the summer on the Southwest dessert – or anywhere in the south where the humidity races with the temperature to determine which can go the highest. Putting him and his attendants in a tuxedo is like putting them in a sauna, turning up the heat and leaving them there to cook.

Of course everyone is uncomfortably hot. The bride in those yards and yards of fabric at least can go strapless as can the bridesmaids. But the groom and groomsmen have a long sleeved shirt, a vest, a cummerbund and a jacket that could keep them warm in Alaska. The air flow is completely cut off at the neck because he’s strangled with a necktie that is uncomfortable even in winter.

So what can you do about it?

Show me the rule written in stone that says the groom has to wear a jacket. There are some wonderful shirts that can be worn without a jacket and still look quite elegant. Or you can have shirts made to fit the theme of your wedding. A white tuxedo shirt with wonderful studs and cufflinks and a bow tie – and perhaps suspenders – can be quite elegant and make a statement that weddings are as much about setting your own style and being comfortable as about trying to out-dress those whose ceremony is held in the air conditioned comfort of a church. Another idea is to let the groom and his attendants wear a vest that matches the bridesmaid’s color and go without the jacket – or wear the tuxedo shirt and black vest with a tie that matches the color or the bride’s attendants.

If you want to get creative, you can choose a themed wedding that allows everyone to be comfortable. A Hawaiian theme, for example, allows the bride to choose something beautiful and elegant and the rest of the wedding party to come in loose fitting, Hawaiian type shirts and dresses. The guests can also come dressed Hawaiian if they wish. I once officiated at a wedding in a muumuu, at the bride’s request. The wedding was on the 4th of July, the temperature was still 112 degrees at 6 p.m. and the wedding was wonderful. Everyone was comfortable and stayed to party long after the ceremony was over. The bride wore a beautiful, cool long dress as did her attendants. The groom wore an elegant Hawaiian wedding shirt and the groomsmen were in flowered matching Hawaiian shirts. They had the traditional wedding leis flown in from Hawaii and lei for each of the guests. It was a memorable wedding.

No one missed the tuxedos.

Irene Conlan has a masters degree in nursing, a doctoral degree in metaphysics, is a certified hypnotherapist and an ordained minister. She practices holistic hypnotherapy and officiates at weddings in Scottsdale, Az and the Phoenix metropolitan area. She can be found at: http://www.thepowerzone.com (Hypnotherapy Downloads) http://www.yourscottsdalewedding.com (Scottsdale Weddings) http://your-scottsdale-wedding.com (Wedding Blog)

Husbands cheat on their wives for many reasons. They could be bored with their lifestyle and feel that they need to do something exciting or they could be having a midlife crisis. The latter is very common as many husbands cheat on their wives when they seem to reach 40 for some reason.

Perhaps it is because they suddenly realise that 40 could possibly be half way through their lives and they need to give their egos a boost. Or perhaps as they reflect back over the past years they may feel that they have not achieved very much out of life. They may not be able to do much about changing their situation at home or to their current lifestyle so they decide to look elsewhere and become a cheating husband.

Cheating husbands always think that the grass is greener on the other side of the hill - just like to three billy goat gruffs did! For some reason they think that something is or has been missing from their lives or they feel that they have not fulfilled all their hopes, dreams or ambitions throughout their lives so far. So now is the time to try and change all this by cheating on their wives and they may achieve some of the goals that were missed over the years.

Cheating husbands looking for attention often go to night clubs to meet new girlfriends as this is a way of seeing and chatting to prospective dates. Once a cheating husband has lined up a date then all that is left to do is to escape from home to be with his new girlfriend. Escaping from home however is only a minor matter as he can use the excuse to work late or arrange business meetings.

The cheating husband may wish to go on holiday with his new found girlfriend and finding an excuse may not be necessary as if he has a circle of lads that he regularly goes around with then he has the ideal opportunity to say that he is going away with them.

Sometimes cheating husbands will stray for a few months but they soon realise that they really do miss their family and would very much like their old lifestyle back. Should their wife be willing to take them back then they are very lucky to be forgiven. Although it must be remembered that once a cheating husband has strayed he may be liable to cheat again later on in life whenever he feels the urge to boost his ego again!

Should a cheating husband not be forgiven by his wife then he stands to lose a great deal. There is his family for a start to consider and existing friends may not now stand by him. His whole life may need to be uprooted to accommodate his new situation. He may not only lose family and friends but also work colleagues that nay not see his cheating on his wife as a favourable decision. He may become so unhappy with life that he may have to consider leaving the area to which he used to call his home and move away and start afresh in an unfamiliar territory. This could end up being a very costly mistake both emotionally and financially and cheating husbands should consider very carefully the implications of cheating on their wives before committing themselves to an affair.

Jenny Clair is the editor of Marriage-Divorce-Separation.com an article based web site exploring the human side of marriage breakdowns, divorce and separation situations.

http://www.marriage-divorce-separation.com