A Tricky Supervision Challenge

Laurie Weiss, Ph.D.

Many managers believe that treating their team members as
responsible adults will assure excellent results. The truth is
that while this usually is effective, some people need much
firmer limits than others to perform their jobs.

When I give her a direction, she says she understands, but then
she acts as if she can do just as she pleases. Ellen, the
manager of a rehabilitation hospital unit was discussing her
frustration in supervising one of her social workers. Ellen
would much rather help Angelique be successful at her job than
to fire her, but things have not been going well.

Angelique has been on the unit for a year and a half, but Ellen
has only been supervising her directly for a few months. Ellen’s
frustration began when she noticed the social worker’s frequent
absences.

She is on a salary, and has some flexibility, but she is
expected to be here forty hours a week. She has been coming and
going whenever she pleases. Despite my warnings she still
refuses to consistently even tell me when she will be gone. When
I placed a written reprimand in her file, she cried, and
promised to do better, but she hasn’t.

I have even told her that she is inviting me to micro-manage
her, but I am reluctant to cause her the embarrassment of having
to punch the time clock, when none of the other workers at her
level do that.

As Ellen and I discussed the situation, I learned that Ellen
was already micro-managing Angelique. Whenever they had a
supervision session, Ellen was taking extra pains to make
certain that Angelique understood exactly what hours she was
expected to be on the unit. We both laughed at the absurdity of
helping someone with a Master’s degree to read a basic time
schedule.

When we looked at how Angelique had invited Ellen’s
micro-management, it was obvious that Angelique was acting like
a child who had not learned to respect limits and boundaries.
Ellen was being invited to act as her parent. Ellen kept
reminding Angelique about the work requirements, and when
Angelique did not use this information Ellen was first surprised
and then increasingly frustrated.

When Angelique’s response to discipline (being written up) was
tears, Ellen felt an impulse to protect her and not cause her
further embarrassment. Instead she tried to be understanding
rather than critical. When that didn’t work either, Ellen asked
for coaching.

It’s a Power Struggle

It’s not unusual for a manager and an employee to get into a
power struggle like Ellen has with Angelique. It is especially
common for people who are still in power struggles with their
own parents to get into power struggles with authority figures.
Managers and supervisors are readily available authority
figures.

Instead of seeing the manager as just another person whose job
happens to be to give others instructions about how to do their
jobs, the Angeliques of the world see managers differently. They
see managers as enemies with whom they need to struggle to prove
that they are independent and autonomous.

Supervisors at work, and significant others in private life,
are the prime targets for their need to establish their
independence by repeatedly creating and resolving power
struggles.

Creating Appropriate Limits

Angelique had managed to create a power struggle with Ellen, and
Ellen, like many forward thinking managers, was confused about
what to do. Although she did not want to be Angelique’s parent,
she did need to provide firm, matter-of-fact consequences for
any team member who ignored important rules.

When Angelique experiences this discipline she can decide
whether or not to give up the struggle and act like a mature
adult in the workplace. Whether Ellen likes it or not, she
probably can’t help Angelique to become a productive member of
the unit without providing these consequences.

Ellen confirmed that this was probably necessary. She knows that
Angelique grew up in a wealthy, overindulgent family, that
Angelique’s father purchased a house for her to live in, and she
has few financial responsibilities. Ellen noted, “She has
trouble setting appropriate limits for some of the patients she
works with, too. Is this another sign of her need for limits?

Once the situation became clear, Ellen created a plan. She
decided to warn Angelique that if she does not follow the units
guidelines about working hours and appropriate notification this
month, she will have to punch the time clock next month, and
will have written notice warning her of termination placed in
her file. If she does not follow procedures with the time clock,
she will then be terminated.

Ellen was relieved. I want to get out of the power struggle and
supervise her appropriately. She is certainly intelligent enough
to keep her job if she wants it.

Laurie Weiss, Ph.D., is an internationally known executive
coach, psychotherapist, and author.

Laurie Weiss, Ph.D., Master Certified Coach, mycoachingbio
Expert Coaching for Personal and Working Relationships
Empowerment Systems, 506 West Davies Way, Littleton, CO 80120
303-794-5379 Fax 303-794-5408, www.empowermentsystems.com

For more Secrets for Turning Difficult Conversations into
Amazing Opportunities for Cooperation and Success visit Laurie
at www.DareToSayIt.com

“The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” — Theodore Roosevelt

1. I Am - the Arena of Values
2. I Should - the Arena of Responsibility
3. I Could - the Arena of Possibility
4. I Would - the Arena of Negotiation
5. I Want To - the Arena of Vision
6. I Will - the Arena of Dedication
7. I Do - the Arena of Accomplishment

In this article we are going to be looking at the “Arenas” that every person, organization, or business can operate out of. They are Values, Responsibility, Possibility, Negotiation, Vision, Dedication, and Accomplishment. The degree of our success is directly related to the degree in which we excel in and balance these arenas. As you go through each segment, think practically, because these are intended to be more than intellectual ideas. They are intended to help you solidify them into your life and turn your potential into performance. Though this article is specific to business and industry, the principles here are easily translated into personal application.

I Am - The Arena of Values.

Every person, organization and business has values. They may not know what they are, or they may not be able to articulate what they are, but they have them. The values of a business are what they believe in. What do they think is important? What do they hold as dear to the organization? Customer satisfaction is a simple value that a business may hold, for example. What a company values will affect the way the business runs and the employees act and work, so it is important to know what your business values are.

Here are some questions for you to ask. I would encourage you to involve as many top-level people in this process as possible, as well as others, even down to the lowest levels of the organization. What do we think is important? What do we hope to accomplish? What do we believe in as we go about our work? Another item to deal with is Values Dissonance. That is when you state your values and find that they are not in action in the company.

This then, takes teamwork and leadership to make sure that everybody is on the same page with your corporate values. The first step in a successful organization, or for your own life for that matter, is to determine your values. I would encourage you to spend some time on this if you haven’t already. And if you have, continue to make sure that everybody in the organization knows and believes in them.

Two excellent books on the subject are Leadership Jazz, and Leadership Is An Art, both by Max DuPree. Is there clear indication in your place or work that you are operating in the Arena of Values? Can you say without a doubt that “I Am,” or “We Are”? Hopefully you can, and if not, you can be, with a little work.

I Should - The Arena of Responsibility

I understand that responsibility is in some people’s minds a four-letter word, but not in those who want to achieve true, lasting success that benefits not only themselves, but a great number of people around them. Those who would lead the way to accomplishment must also understand that they have responsibilities. And the man or woman of honor, integrity, and success, lives up to those responsibilities. So what are these responsibilities that we must live by? While I want to encourage you to think about them specifically for your own life and business, there are a few that I believe are for all of us.

1. To be a person and company of high integrity. Ultimately, we are only a success to the degree that we are honorable people. This means that we are honest, hard working, and forthright. I don’t think it matters how much money one accumulates if the are not a person of integrity.

2. To live by the “golden rule.” And the golden rule isn’t what one of my best friends grew up thinking it was: He who has the gold, makes the rules! No, it is that we will treat others as we want to and expect to be treated.

3. To our families. Regardless of the work we do, it is of utmost importance that our families sit atop the priority list. Sometimes I think of all the people I help and work so hard for day by day and realize that none of them will be at my side when I breathe my last breath. My wife and children will fill those spots. Therefore, they get the most from me. I owe it to them. They are important to me and it is my responsibility to be there for them, no matter what my opportunities are elsewhere.

4. To give to charity. The more you hear from me, the more you will realize that I am big on the idea of charity. I think one of the things that rounds us out as healthy, successful people is to give away money, time, and possessions, free of all strings. Simply give it away to a cause that you believe in. Make it big. Make it a sacrifice. Instead of a $10 check every now and then, put it into your budget to give away a certain amount every month. At first you will think it is impossible but it will come around. And one of the great benefits to this is that at the end of your life, you will be able to look back and see the difference you have made.

These are just a few areas, but they are the umbrellas that cover the rest of our lives. If we get these right, we are 95% there.

I Could - The Arena of Possibility

Now we cover the arena of possibility.

It seems to me that many businesses, and schools and organizations often get so caught up in the day to day that they lose their zest for life. They get the nose to the grindstone, and may even be doing important work, but they forget to dream. They forget to think of what could be. (for more on achieving your dreams, see my article “Dare to Dream Again)

How is your business in the arena of possibilty? What would happen if at your next staff meeting, whether you have 30 people or it’s just you and your partner, you asked the question “What could we really do if we put it all together? If we really stretched ourselves as far as we could?” Or how about “What are the possibilities for this business to really do something great or dynamic?” I think that you would probably be astounded at what you would hear.

People have great ideas, dreams, and possibilities inside of them. They just need someone to stop the treadmill and ask the question, surrounded by an atmosphere of acceptance.

Here are some areas to think about possibilities in:

The office atmosphere
Customer relations
Customer satisfaction
Increased sales
Increased profit
Community service projects

I Would - the Arena of Negotiation

After you have recognized your corporate values, understood your responsibilities and then had your staff possibilities session, there comes a time of reflection upon those possibilities. Every possibility has a cost associated with it. At this point an organization not only says “we could” but they also need to determine what the cost will be and whether or not the successful implementation of the possibility is worth the cost. This is the arena of negotiation. It isn’t negotiation in the traditional sense of the word, such as negotiating a price with a client or vendor, but is primarily an internal negotiation. This is where you ask qualifying questions. “I would if…”

If this is to come about, what will the cost be? Is it worth it? If this comes about, what will the ramifications be in other areas of my business? What other adjustments would have to be made, and are they worth it? What would the reward have to be in order for me to pursue this possibility? How long will it take me to reach this possibility? In light of that, do I want to readjust the organization for that period of time? In other words, would the outcome be worth it? What trade-offs will I have to make with my time, finances, staff, customers, or family? Are these trade-offs worth it?

These are all examples of negotiation questions. You are negotiating internally, with yourself or your staff.

For example, you may find that your possibilities include substantially more profit for an extra five hours of your time per week. But your family life may be such that it wouldn’t be the overall best situation for you to increase your workload five more hours a week at this point in your life. Perhaps it is still a possibility, but should be delayed for a year or two You may see the possibility of giving better customer service by adding two new employees, to bring the ratio of employees to customers down. What would the cost be? What would the reward be? Perhaps you will find out that the reward, be it financial or otherwise, is more than sufficient in your mind to spur you on to pursue the possibility. You may want to get a comprehensive view of your current customers’ satisfaction.

There is any number of ways to go about obtaining that information. Giving a response card to each person that visits. Calling past customers on the phone. Visiting each client personally. What are the costs of these? Which ones are right for you and your staff at the current time? Every possibility has a cost associated with it. Take some time this week to measure the costs of your possibilities. Then, when you find those that are good for you - go for it!

I Want To - The Arena of Vision

Sometimes one of the best ways to determine what you or your company or organization should do is what you want to do! A sections back we asked what the possibilities were for your business. We decided to dream a little. Now, of those possibilities, what ones would you really like to do? The reason for this is simple:
Because those ideas that stir our passions for excellence become things that we can easily “see.” They can become our “vision.” Vision is a word that is used a lot in leadership development these days, and for a good reason. In order for something to happen, someone has to first see it happening long before it actually does. Sure, there are lots of things you could do (possibilities), but what do you want to do? What can you see yourself doing? If money, and time, were no object; if you knew that you couldn’t fail at your attempt; what would you want to try? Then, why not try? This can become your vision. And a vision is a powerful thing.

Vision is what drives success and accomplishment. Just think of the great accomplishments of mankind and about what vision must have been behind them. So, what do you want to do in your life? What would you like to accomplish with your business or organization? Great things come when we dream, when we gain a vision of a better tomorrow. Vision drives us to attempt things far beyond where we are right now. Here is one of my favorite quotes from old Rough and Ready, Teddy Roosevelt. I hope it encourages you to stretch for greater things.

“Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy, nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.”

I Will - The Arena of Dedication

They say that the three most important things in real estate are “location, location, location.” That may very well be true, but I have decided, after being involved in numerous start-up ventures (both for profit and non-profit) that the three most important things in work, especially during the start-up process, are “perseverance, perseverance, perseverance.” I have come to believe that much of what separates the successful from the unsuccessful is simply determination. The successful are not always the brightest, the best looking, or those with the most prestigious diplomas. Instead, they are the ones who say “I will do this!” and “Hardship will not deter me!” These people have entered into and continually live in the arena of dedication. Staying there long enough usually puts them on top. Dedication is a key to success. So far, we have had you determine your corporate values, and had you dream and think of the possibilities for your life, work, and organization. What now? Hard work! Once you and your staff have determined what your possibilities are, you should also spend some time to recognize all of the hard work that will be involved in achieving your dreams. Then spend some time preparing to meet the challenges. Here are some questions to help you get through the process, prepare yourself for the job ahead, and come out on the end of success.

1. What are the obstacles we will face?

2. How will we overcome those obstacles?

3. What kinds of attitudes and dedication will we need to exhibit when the time comes to face difficulties and up-hill battles?

4. What are the rewards our dedication will bring to us as individuals and corporately?

Focusing in on these questions will help you prepare for the times when you will need to show dedication, perseverance and inner fortitude. The mental preparation now will strengthen you to succeed later.

I Do - The Arena of Accomplishment

As we close this series, it is important to remember that these phases are all constantly rotating through different areas of our lives. In some areas we will be in the values formulating arena, others the dedication arena. And of course we will at times be in the accomplishment arena. It comes when the job is complete. What is important at this stage? Well, a few things actually.

1. A little rest. Notice I said a “little.” It isn’t time to sit back for good, but resting can be a much-needed reward for all of the hard work you have shown up until now. After the pace of pursuing your dreams, your body and mind need some well- deserved rest.

2. A little celebration. Celebrations are great for us. What is all the work for if one can’t enjoy the fruit of his labor? Maybe it is a small dinner out. Maybe it is a huge celebration like a party for a hundred of your closest friends and business associates. Maybe it is an exotic vacation?

3. A sense of fulfillment. The greatest reward is, as the old saying goes, “the satisfaction of a job well done.” Not many people make it to the accomplishment arena very often. Enjoy the satisfaction!

4. A new high bar. One of the great things about life is the challenge of new heights. You have accomplished your task, and that’s good, but…

Now, What’s Next?

About The Author:

Chris Widener is a popular speaker and writer as well as the President of
Made for Success, a company helping individuals and organizations turn
their potential into performance, succeed in every area of their lives and
achieve their dreams.

To see Chris “live” at the upcoming Jim Rohn Weekend Event as he speaks on
the subject of Secrets of Influence go to
http://Chris-Widener.InspiresYOU.com/ or call 800-929-0434.

Life is a battlefield for many of us and some of us struggle more than others “to keep up with the troops and put our best foot forward”. But just think about this for a moment; to be able to achieve your full potential by using your God given talents; to earn your living in a way which suits you best and is absolutely in tune with your personality and ability; to look and feel great for your age at any time, can only promote happiness, personal satisfaction, physical and emotional wellbeing, wouldn’t you agree? And just imagine the feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction in the knowledge of a life well lived, when our time comes to leave this earth.

Sadly very few will ever have that satisfaction.

Instead, most of us, especially as Baby Boomers, find ourselves “stuck or bogged down in the mud of life”. The reason I use that phrase is because in my book I introduce you to the Royal Marines SBS mud crawl. Only those who have actually experienced “the SBS mud crawl” will know what it feels like to be stuck in the mud; the feeling of absolute hopelessness and frustration of going nowhere; with no energy left to go forward or backwards, is indescribable. Only absolute willpower will push you on to move your body!

Life for many of us, especially as Baby Boomers, is like that as well. We find ourselves “stuck in the unhappy circumstances of life”, either through our own fault or through causes beyond our control. Most of us resign ourselves to our lot; we settle into a comfort zone, put up with it and don’t want to move yet whinge about our circumstances and all the “bad things” that happen to us. Others are too scared to do something about their situation and choose the easiest way out; they stay put and by doing so, condemn themselves to an unfulfilling, empty life.

Very little is also said or known about the Baby Boomer “male meno-pause or mid life crisis.” Many men, when they reach their mid forties and fifties, go through the “failure stage” of life simply because of the way they think and then behave. They compare themselves to the younger generation of males (and females!) and look at themselves and their achievements in life and realise that “time is running out”.

Self sabotaging thoughts are the main culprit that will rob you of your Victory in life and really push you over the edge when it comes to male meno-pause or mid-life crisis. Our sub-conscious mind; “the mental diet” which we feed ourselves with every day, plays an absolutely essential part and is the deciding factor in whether we will ever achieve our true potential in life or not and what kind of a life we will live. Like passing an SBS/SEAL training course, it all happens in the mind first.

Another factor is your physical health and strength. As a young man I was fortunate enough to pass the arduous Royal Marines SBS training to qualify as a Combat Swimmer/Frogman or Navy SEAL. That period in my life taught me the importance of “Short Burst” exercise routines. One, two, five minute aerobic and strength training exercises that would instantly get your heart rate up, work and strengthen your muscles, stimulate both hemispheres of the brain and get the lymph and blood moving through your body. Muscle is also your biggest fat burning engine in your body and as the benefit of muscular and aerobic exercise is accumulative it is absolutely essential that you introduce this type of an exercise regime into your life.

As a matter of fact, the mind and the body are are intricately linked through our energy or meridian systems; when either one is weak or out of balance the other suffers. You should aim to include a mind-body exercise in your daily life and my University tested 16 minute Boomerang GYM together with my “Emotional Freedom” E -Book might be a good step in the right direction.

Just remember one thing; no matter how old you are, its never too late to start!

Johan Tonsbeek is a 58 year old, Ex Dutch Royal Marines SBS (Special Boat Service) - Combat Swimmer/Frogman (Navy SEAL) and Accountant. He is now a qualified fitness instructor, author, public speaker and Mind-Body Coach and has developed a “short burst” exercise regime called the Boomerang GYM - http://www.boomeranggym.com , which he promotes with his new Mind-Body E -Book “Emotional Freedom”, based on the Special Forces approach to training and attitude.

Non-Christians are going to wonder why I seem to be putting you down in this article but the truth is that I’m writing this for committed Christians not those who have nothing to do with God or the Church.

So we are going to ask the question “why are single Christians increasingly turning to non-Christians to seek relationships?” We are also going to deal with what the consequences are for the Christians themselves and also for the wider Church. Finally we are going to ask what can be done about it from an individual perspective and also what we can do for each other.

If you have been a single Christian for any length of time you will know how hard it is (at times) to find suitable marriage partners. There are a multitude of reasons for this, not least the fact that there are more women than men in the Church (on balance). This is an unhealthy balance that leads to a feminisation of all things Christian when looked at from a male point of view.

Many men consider Christianity to not be the most masculine of religions and the Church has its fair share of men dressed in long robes and not enough masculine role models. This does not encourage them to come through the doors in the first place. Men are attracted to physicality which is why martial arts are so popular. Make Church life for Christian men more masculine and active and you will attract more men into the Church.

So with not enough men coming into the Church and also the more masculine men being put off the Church the choice for your average single Christian woman is narrowed considerably. So what is she to do? Prayer is a good start but without action it is faith “without works” and faith “without works” doesn’t work! So what next? This is where the natural tendency is to get discouraged and start looking outside the Church. This is the chief reason why single Christians are going out into the non-Christian world looking for relationships. The result is that they are getting pregnant and marrying un-suitable people who don’t share their faith or values. Long-term this is the cause of many people leaving the Church.

So what can be done about this? In my current role I am constantly asked about how to meet new single Christians. My first response is usually to recommend that they start where they are in their Church and try to get to know everyone they don’t yet know. After this there is the wider body of local Churches which may be visited from time to time. Start to network with other people from these Churches who are in the same situation. Organise events, ring each other up and encourage one another.

Finally, the Internet has enabled many to meet suitable people who they would not have met otherwise. Don’t dismiss it. With faith and persistence it really can work. Don’t give up too easily. Many people expect instant results with the Internet and this is un-realistic. Take your time and get friends to support your activities prayerfully.

Richard Lloyd is the Director of ChristiansUK.com a dedicated online Christian dating site serving Christians in the UK and USA. Richard is an experienced Microsoft web-technologies developer and is also the Director of a Hampshire web development company Black Ridge Design Limited.

Power yoga is basically known as the “yoga with brawn”. This is the American version of ashtanga yoga, a kind of discipline that combines stretching, strength training, and meditative breathing.

A lot of poses look like basic callisthenics (push-ups, handstands, toe touches, and side bends). But the key to power yoga’s sweat-inducing, muscle-building power is the pace. As a replacement for pausing between poses as you would in traditional yoga, each move flows into the next, making it a powerful aerobic workout.

Power yoga is an energetic exercise that challenges you physically and mentally in order to help you connect to your inner power. The power yoga poses are performed at a fast pace unlike regular yoga. One big benefit is that it can help you increase your physical endurance and ability to focus on a task for a long time without even breaking your concentration. In power yoga there is still the need to execute the basic yoga postures. Power yoga poses offer a vigorous workout which can be done even by beginners.

Power yoga aficionados have their sessions in a heated room. These sessions are composed of accurate cardiovascular exercises. It is designed to build strength and flexibility. Power yoga has also the ability to increase your stamina, tone your body, and remove toxins through sweating.

Since power yoga sessions are rigorous and painstakingly thorough, they should only be done by people who are physically fit and who are not suffering from chronic ailments. One element of power yoga that distinguishes it from other forms of the practice is a breathing technique known as ujjayi.

This deliberate “whoosh, whoosh, whoosh” breathing is an integral part of the poses. It stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, adding a meditative component to the workout and leaving you with a transforming sense of calm that lingers long after you’ve rolled up your exercise mat.

Power yoga still focus on the main goal of classical yoga, which is to unite the body, the mind, and the spirit. Yoga is practiced to help you get connected to your inner core of power.

Power is also classified into several levels. The first is the physical power which is developed through the poses which develop the body’s strength and improve one’s health. The key to the second level is the mental power of drawing your mind from scattered thoughts and concentrating on your practice. And the last one is spiritual power - the power behind your physical and mental powers. Through these powers, yoga can connect your body, mind, and spirit to the deepest level.

There are some basic precautions for the power yoga beginner. Tell your instructor if you’re a first-timer and never stretch to the point that you feel the pain. Since power yoga involves a lot of twisting and weight-bearing moves, you should be especially cautious if you have a history of neck, shoulder, or knee injuries.

Power yoga is a big help in training for athletes and also aids in injury prevention and rehabilitation. Learning power yoga benefits people who want to improve their skills and performance - especially in sports like cycling, golf, football, and swimming. Many health clubs today promote the use of power yoga as a powerful body and mind exercise regimen.

Yoga has been a popular discipline for centuries because of its rejuvenating effect on body, mind, and spirit. If you are interested in yoga and what it can do for you, be sure to visit Katie Simpson’s Healing Spirit Yoga site at: http://www.healing-spirit-yoga.com

What Rules Are You Making Up?

Some years ago, I worked for a company that helped create new
products. My job title was “inventor” and part of the process
was running sessions that would generate hundreds and hundreds
of ideas as solutions to a particular challenge. (The key
insight here being that the only way to have a good idea is to
have lots of mediocre ideas. Yes, it’s a numbers game).

One of the best “games” I knew to come up with ideas was to list
all the “rules” about what could and could not be done with that
challenge. This in itself is a powerful process, because for the
most part these rules are rarely made explicit. They’re just the
unquestioned “way things are done”.

Here are some of the primary rules that I see people create:

Time

“This is urgent”

“It always takes this long to do this task”

“This is the deadline, and it can’t be changed”

Responsibility

“Only I can complete this task”

“To be a good [insert role: mother, manager, leader, acrobat,
etc] I must…”

Status

“I can’t approach that person”

“I’m not allowed to ask for help”

Cost

“Something like this must cost this amount”

“The price is fixed”

Process

“These are the steps you must go through to complete this task.”

“This is what it means to be successful.”

“This must be done in person.”

“It’s considered rude if…”

What do you do with all these rules? I like the former
Commander of the USS Benfold, Mike Abrashoff’s, suggestion, “If
a rule doesn’t make sense, break it. If a rule does make sense,
break it carefully.”

Something to Practice

* Think of a challenge you’re facing right now, something you’d
like to get unstuck on.

* Review the list of rules above and work out what you’ve made
up about your challenge.

* Pick three rules you’d like to break

* Break one of them

Want to Learn More? Here are Some Useful Resources

It’s Your Ship by Mike Abrashoff: Abrashoff was one of
the most effective Commanders in the US Navy in recent history,
and this book recounts the successes and failures of his
progressive leadership style.

Birth of the Chaordic Age by Dee W. Hock: Hock was the
founder of Visa, and this book tells this story as well as being
the start of re-imagining what and how organizations could be in
the future.

Undeniably the most common recrimination by detractors of the faxless no credit check payday advance industry confutes the lending rate commonly demanded for a short term payday advance that can amount to 1-200%. For more in depth information regarding getting a payday advance see here.

This annual percentage rate (or “APR”) can be described as a simple metrics pinning down the effective interest a borrowing client will have to pay during one full year. APR provides an established framework for determining which financial utensil proffers a higher versus a lower ultimate drain on resources to the typical borrower, inclusive of collateral costs that may be required.Clearly the p.a. rate has proven to be a unquestionably effective tool bearing upon financial undertakings with a duration of a minimum of twelve months .Unfortunately, as far as it concerns two weeks cash advances the rates of interest p.a. are incontestably hardly helpful.

So why not liken cash advances to hiring a taxi home from the railway station. Let’s assume it will cost you 40 dollars to get home in this manner. Certainly 40 dollars can be quite a bit of money to pay for such a ride however a great number of people do it simply because it is sensible and it covers a specific demand. True, we’re aware that one could rent a car for an entire day for 40 dollars and drive as many miles as we want.

Now let’s just assume we do that– rent a car and drive say 400 miles during the one day we’ve rented it. Now the proponents of APR would warrant that we must annualize these figures to rack up a true comparison… To prove our point, let us take the price we’re paying for the taxi ride ($2/m x 400 m) which gives us: 800 bucks. The annualized counterpart of the car rental option as opposed to that taxi ride gives $40 against $800. Now we’ll have to point out that this car hiring was not the optimal solution, even in view of how much more expensive the annual interest figure would have tallied up in this specific case.

And exactly the same applies to payday loans. Because after all fast cash advances are limited to two weeks only, they are not annual loan arrangements. The extravagant annual percentage rate doesn’t make any sense because this breed of loan does not apply to the full year. The interest rate charge will actually be close to 15-25 percent for the loan. That fast cash loan is a costive option you should not adopt sans considering all reasonable alternative options.

A 27” LCD TV provides a much better picture than the old CRT televisions – and they come in much more attractive styles. In many homes an LCD TV has become an integral feature in the entertainment room’s decorating scheme. They’re versatile, too. A flat screen 27” LCD TV can be mounted on a wall, under a cabinet, on the ceiling, or it can sit on a stand or on top of furniture. A 27” LCD TV comes in a size that is big enough to comfortably watch from a reasonable distance, but it’s also small enough to fit in even the smallest viewing rooms.

The 27” LCD market is also highly competitive – almost every television manufacturer makes at least one 27” model. Choosing the right model for your needs can be time-consuming; to get you started, take these steps as you search for the right TV for you.

First consider your room’s décor, and think about how you’ll sit relative to the TV. Because a 27” LCD TV has significantly higher resolution than a conventional TV, you’ll be able to sit closer than you normally would and view a larger screen much more comfortably. The optimum viewing distance for a 27” LCD TV is approximately 6 feet, so plan your furniture arrangement accordingly.

Then make a decision about whether you want or need HDTV. A 27” LCD TV with EDTV is less expensive to purchase but it won’t display high-definition signals. The price difference between a smaller HD-ready 27” LCD TV and an ED-ready 27” LCD TV is relatively small, so you’re better off buying an HD-ready set. Many experts indicate there’s little reason to buy a non-HD 27” LCD TV. A lower resolution LCD TV won’t be able to accept high-definition signals, so the picture won’t look any better than regular analog TV. In the next few years more and more TV signals will be in HD; since your 27” LCD TV should last for more than fifteen years, make sure it will grow with the technology.

Now try to purchase a set with an HDMI input. This port keeps the signal all-digital, avoiding degradation that can occur as the signal passes through other components (like your cable box). HMDI carries high-definition audio as well as video. Some satellite receivers and DVD players also connect through this port.

Narrow your choice of 27” LCD TV down further by determining if you want or need picture-in-picture functionality. Picture-in-picture allows you to view two video sources at once, with one appearing as a small window on the screen. If you do want picture-in-picture capability on your 27” LCD TV, remember that single-tuner picture-in-picture lets you watch television in one window and another source (like a DVD) in the second window. A 27” LCD TV with two tuners lets you watch two television sources at once. It’s a cool feature and once you have it you’ll find you don’t want to do without it, especially if you’re a sports or news junkie.

You’re almost done, but now you’ll want to check to see if the different models of 27” LCD TV you’re still considering are sold with a stand or mounting hardware included. Most 27” LCD TVs will come with a table stand wall mounting hardware costs an additional $100 to $200. If you do purchase a stand or mounting hardware separately, make sure it’s appropriate for the size and weight of your TV. The average 27” LCD TV is pretty heavy, so it pays to make sure your stand or hardware will safely support it.

Last, but certainly not least, inspect the manufacturer’s return and warranty policy before buying online. Some manufacturers have strict policies regarding authorized dealers. If you buy a 27” LCD TV from an unauthorized dealer, the manufacturer may not offer warranty coverage. The retailer may offer a substitute warranty that sufficiently covers you – the only way to know for sure is to ask.

The price difference for a 27” LCD TV from an authorized dealer and from a discounter can be hundreds of dollars – and sometimes that’s the sole reason for the price difference - so make sure you’re comfortable with the risk of not having a warranty, or make sure you ask the discounter for information about warranty terms for the 27” LCD TV you’ve narrowed your choice down to.

Ryan Tenney is an author at www.learnlcdtv.com. Learn about LCD TVs and LCD Television news right now.

“I’m older than you think. In fact you’re probably not more
than five years older than me.” She chuckled, as one of the
other patrons who was standing nearby joined in.

“It isn’t usual to hear a woman bragging about how old she is.
Do you always have this effect on people, Mr. Black Hat?” A
woman of about thirty with long red hair commented.

“I do seem to cause some extreme reactions in many situations.
I guess it must be because I’m a REAL red-head! Ha-ha.”

“I suppose you want to see if I’m a REAL red-head.” She smiled
with a wicked and mischievous grin that Bob returned, just as
Sean came back and stood between them.

“I can’t leave you alone for a minute; can I Bob? SO who is
this beauty you’ve struck up an acquaintance with? My name is
Sean.” Sean was shaking her hand as she looked him over. “I had
been thinking he was your father, but now I see you are much
better looking and he couldn’t be related to YOU! My name is
Bonnie Brown, and I love that accent!”

“Bonnie was just suggesting that I might want to know what even
her hairdresser doesn’t. Maybe you could take her up on that
offer.” Bob was close to laughing out loud.

“I was not! He is a ‘rude dude’, why don’t we go sit somewhere
else Sean?” Bonnie responded angrily.

“Please, Sean. See what she wants. I’m OK here for a while.
Take your drink with you.” Bob held his drink out for Sean to
take.

“Bonnie, I don’t know why the two of you choose to be doing
what you are doing. I would be happy to talk with you and
explore the possibilities but I don’t see any reason to make
enemies. If I get him to promise not to be rude will you stay
and continue our discussion?”

“You look and sound so DELICIOUS. I would do anything for you!
Why don’t we go out to my car and discuss it in private?” “I
think I see why Bob was acting the way he was Bonnie. I’m sure
there are lots of people who would be happy to take you up on
your offer. I am not inclined to do that with someone I don’t
know. I’m sorry.”

“You might very well be sorry later. I want you to know I am a
mortgage banker and a professional who doesn’t waste time
‘beating around the bush’; if I like something I ‘go for it’.”

“Sounds delightful, Bonnie. I am inclined to look for something
a little more meaningful when I engage in sex, however. Perhaps
what you are doing works for you. It doesn’t work with me!”

Sean turned to smile at Bob as Bonnie walked to the other side
of the bar. “Wow! American women can be pretty forward!”

“I think Swedish women are forward. She is sick. You handled
the situation very well and much more politely than I was doing.
I am impressed.”

“I was too!” A blond girl of about 25 who was standing near the
gas pump in the corner offered.

“My name is Susan; may I join the two of you?” She began to
take Bonnie’s barstool as Bob and Sean admired her whole
appearance. Her face was sculpted with smooth lines and style.

“This is Sean; he is from New Zealand and doing a world tour
until he decided to stay here in Las Vegas. I’m Bob, and I just
moved here from L.A., but I’m originally from Canada. Are you
from Las Vegas, Susan?”

“No, but I’ve been here for a couple of years working as a show
girl and trying to get a singing career together. I’m from
Florida originally.”

“You have wonderful warmth in your voice!” Sean remarked with
apparent admiration. “Is that the famous Southern Drawl I’ve
heard about?”

“Her drawl is much better than most, Sean.” Bob offered as he
saw the two of them were attracted to each other and got up. “I
think I’ll go get something to eat at the buffet. Would you like
some Susan?”

“I’ll have some of Sean’s stuff here.” Susan was definitely
what Sean needed. When Bob returned he noticed they were
enjoying each other immensely and he reminded Sean that he would
be picking him up at four in the morning. “You can sleep on the
way to L.A. if you want, but you must be ready. I think I’ll go
and get rested up. Susan, it was nice meeting you! I hope we’ll
meet again sometime. He needs to be shown the best that Las
Vegas has to offer and I hope you are the one to do it.”

“What do you suggest, Bob?” “I think Cirque du Soleil is a good
show, and maybe you could take him to the ‘Follies’ or wherever
you work.”

“Yes, that is where I work! Thanks Bob! I look forward to
seeing you again, too.” Susan stood and gave him a hug after he
shook hands with Sean. Sean thanked Bob with a big smile on his
face. On his way out Bob looked back and saw them engaged in
getting ready to go to the shows.

“Sean, I think your eyes look almost like Paul Newman’s. I love
them and I hope you are as great a man as he is.”

“Have you met HIM?!”

“Yes. I was introduced as the lead dancer in a program he was
attending as a fund-raiser.”

“Tell me all about yourself; you must have an exciting life!”

“Well, I think it would be best if we head over to the Mirage
and get to know each other on the way. Did you bring your car?”

“No, I just decided to stay here this morning or late last
night. We were up very late.” They both stood to get on their
way and Sean made sure he pulled her chair out for her.

“Thank you very much! I don’t always need a gentleman, but it
is nice for a change… Do you know anything about Cirque?” Sean
responded with a mutter as he saw her strong legs and fantastic
shape in front of him. He told himself to be cool and not to get
too excited. As he dashed ahead of her to get the door on their
way out, Susan stopped him and gave him a little kiss. “I don’t
want you to treat me as some kind of goddess, Sean. Just be
yourself.”

“I am used to opening doors for ladies. That is how my parents
raised me, and besides I like getting the chance to look at your
face.”

“How do you like ‘Lost Wages’? Sean?”

“I’m getting to know it and I am a very lucky person! Bob and
some other people I met last night are the MOST incredible
people I have ever met. I get to meet a lot of important people;
my father is a ‘big wig’ in New Zealand.” They stopped at a
Mitsubishi 3000 GT. It was black and fast looking. Sean was
impressed by the newness and beauty of the car. “I love the look
of these cars! I hope you let me drive it sometime.”

He opened the driver’s door for her and gave her a kiss once
she was seated in the front seat, before rushing around to get
in the other door. “So Susan, I want to know all about you!” He
said while doing his seatbelt up.

“OK. Here is the five minute synopsis. I am 26, a Virgo and
I’ll graduate with a Master’s in Psychology in January. I own my
own home in Summerlin and I have a Persian cat named Carmelita.
My last name is Del Balso, and I grew up in Boca Raton. My
father died a couple of years ago, but he wasn’t an important
part of my life for most of it. We had some problems that I
don’t wish to go into right now. I love all kinds of music and I
sing pop music in a band occasionally. There are many things I
enjoy but creativity and cleanliness are the tops with me. I
think I’m going to get my doctorate while I establish a growing
practice dealing with family violence.”

“That is ‘fantastic’! WE might be able to work something out
with you. I can’t tell you all the details but we are starting a
sensual emporium of spiritual delights and need someone to help
the performers with psychological problems. It will include an
Oriental acupressure massage and herbal store as well as a
psychic bookstore and a strip club. It won’t be like any such
club that anyone in these parts has ever seen. Our purpose is to
help people understand and enjoy their sexuality. It will
include a sex toy/clothing shop and lots of other things, like
yoga sessions and intellectual meetings. Bob says the Playboy
Club had some of these things when it started.”

“That sounds exciting! Will you have musical performers on
occasion, like the Playboy Club? Here we are; I’ll leave the car
with the attendant and we need to hurry if we hope to get the
best seats the floor manager has available.”

“Don’t we go to the ticket counter?” Sean asked as he followed.

“I almost never have to pay for any entertainment, except at
New Year’s or the Computer Show.” They went to the Floor Manager
directly and before they got close to him he was waving and
beckoning to Susan. Sean felt like a ’star’ even though he was
just along for the ride. He noticed many people had a hard time
keeping their eyes off Susan, and it made him feel more
important than he thought it would. “This is Sean, my date! He’s
moving here from New Zealand and I want him to see the best show
in town!” Susan spoke as if there was no chance she wouldn’t get
her request answered as she wanted. A crowd of other employees
and patrons were standing near her and asking each other who she
was, or talking about her performing skills. They got seats
about eye level with the performers, and Sean thought they were
the best seats in the house. When they were seated Susan leaned
against him and he put his arm around her shoulders.

“I have never been with a ’star’; pardon my excitement.”

“I can see there are a few things I’ll have to teach you, but I
imagine you’ll be able to show me a thing or three, too.” Susan
looked up at him and pursed her full luscious red lips. He
kissed her sweetly at first and then his hand moved to the side
of her neck as his tongue flicked across her lips. She responded
with passion and a touch on the inside of his leg just as the
lights went down and the circus began. At the end of the show
Sean was thinking how much more he needed to know about what
love can be before he committed to any one person. He knew
beyond a shadow of a doubt that what he felt with Susan could
grow into something awesome and he was not sure he could imagine
that ever happening with Carolyn. He also knew they had never
really experienced a lot together either. His thoughts were
interrupted by a squeeze on his knee, and he looked to see Susan
looking into his baby blues.

“I love your eyes! Did I tell you that?”

“Yes, but don’t think for an instant that I don’t want to hear
anything you have to say about such things. Because I am
absolutely ‘blown away’ by YOU!” They stood and a natural hug
occurred without either of them having to think about it. As
they went into the casino Sean saw it was a little after eleven
and he knew he had to get up in four hours and hadn’t slept much
the night before. “I don’t want to be away from you but I do
need to get a little rest. If there is any chance that you
aren’t sure WE have to get together again, I will hang around
you and do whatever I can to change your mind!”

“Sean, I must tell you this. I don’t like to play games. I have
a boyfriend, but we aren’t getting along right now. I think you
are the kind of person that I could LOVE in a way that I have
never LOVED anyone before. I am close to being infatuated with
you, too.”

“God. That sounds so… FANTASTIC!!” Their lips met without Susan
having to stand on her tip toes. Sean held her around her tiny
waist and felt her large firm butt beneath his hands. He almost
felt dizzy as the kiss continued and he had to put his arm out
to brace himself against the wall.

“Where are you staying?” Susan made a low and guttural purr.

“Here… on the tenth floor!”

“Can I walk you to your room?” Susan said as they separated.

“Yes, I guess so. I must tell you something first though.”
Susan took his hand and led him to the elevator as he spoke.
“Before I came on this world tour I was engaged to someone I
hardly know. Our parents are both from very important families
and we have grown up knowing that we were supposed to be
together or that it was a likely outcome. I talked to her last
night and we both agreed that is stupid and almost feudal.”

“I see.” Susan took her hand away from his and then put it
back. “I guess you need some time to think about whether or not
you and I should get too involved, then.”

They entered the elevator with other people and Sean was nearly
beside himself. He wanted to stop the elevator and kiss Susan
with all his heart. He didn’t want her to think he wasn’t able
to be FREE to love her in whatever way she wanted. “I loved the
artistry of the show! Have you seen it many times before?”

“Yes, I’ve seen it four times now, but it is so good I enjoy it
more each time. I really appreciate every movement their bodies
make and how difficult it is, the more I see them.”

They left the elevator together and waited till other people
passed by them, before they kissed. There was no one to see them
as they slowly kissed. Sean looked into her dark eyes and felt
her pull him closer as she returned the energy of his deep gaze.
When he nibbled lightly on her lower lip after sucking it for a
minute he reached up to just beneath her breasts. She pushed
them into his chest and put her hand behind his head. Just then
the elevator opened again on its way down. “No. Please come to
my room!” Sean said as a moment of fear gripped him. “I don’t
want you to leave!”

“Are you afraid we won’t see each other again?”

“A little! I know I would be a fool to let you go without
making ABSOLUTELY sure that we are going to have a chance to get
to know each other better.”

You have permission to publish this article electronically free
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Make Your Sex Sizzle with Foreplay By Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed. ©
2004

The importance of foreplay is often underestimated and minimized
or even ridiculed. The informed experienced lover will know that
not only is foreplay one of the most passionate ways to sweep
his woman off her feet, but it also increases intimacy, develops
trust and care, promotes emotional connection, deepens love and
has the ability to enhance his satisfaction as well.

First and foremost, adequate foreplay is essential to a woman’s
satisfaction and her ability to achieve orgasm. Women need
extended stimulation to reach optimal arousal. Adequate foreplay
consists of at least 15 minutes, but preferably 20 or more. This
is very important for couple’s to know. Many women have
difficulty reaching orgasm or experience dissatisfaction with
their sexual adventures and often the only cause of these
difficulties is the lack of adequate foreplay. Foreplay is
physiologically necessary for women’s pleasure, not an
unnecessary request she has created to make things more
difficult for the male. You can never spend too much time on
foreplay. It can only enhance the sexual encounter and the
relationship even more.

Foreplay has many other important purposes to keep in mind. It
shows your lover that you care about her and her needs. The way
you touch your woman indicates to her how you feel about her and
the way you feel about her impacts how she will respond to you
sexually and how pleasurable the sex will be for her. It
promotes emotional connection and deepens intimacy, which are
two more necessary components for sex to be satisfying for the
woman.

It is not only the female that benefits from foreplay. On a
biological level foreplay induces lubrication for the woman and
erection for the man. Taking time to sensuously explore and
relish one another’s bodies can significantly help with male
sexual problems such as premature ejaculation or impotence,
creating harder erections, increased stamina and more satisfying
sex for the male as well. As men grow older they may not get
erect by sight alone as they once did in younger years, extended
periods of touching, kissing and caressing can provide the
necessary stimulation needed for erection. Foreplay also builds
passion and generates fire making for a more electrifying sexual
adventure for both male and female.

Foreplay can include much more than basic touching, kissing,
holding and caressing. It can also consist of words and behavior
that will enhance the excitement and passion. In addition to
kissing, touching and holding you might try giving her a loving
compliment, expressing affectionate feelings or giving her a
gift such as flowers or lingerie. Foreplay does not always have
to begin immediately preceding the sexual act.

For a very special treat and to really light her fire foreplay
that begins in the morning and lasts all day will work even
better by producing a loving seduction. The scenario might go
something like this: you prepare your lover breakfast or bring
her tea and present it to her with a big kiss, before you leave
for the day place a sweet love note in a special place for her
to find, when you leave for the day hold and kiss her with a
deep passionate kiss, then call her later in the day from work
and asks how her day is and tell her you love her, or in the
call tell her how much you want her and you can’t wait to taste
her, later that day send her flowers or when you come home from
work bring her a beautiful gift, when you come in the door once
again she is greeted with hugs and kisses, before dinner you
give her a bath and caresses her feet or you take a shower
together, after dinner you clean up the kitchen and tell her to
go rest, then you join her in the living room and give her a
full body massage and spend at least 15 minutes holding, kissing
and licking. By this time her body will be aching with desire.

This little dance will reap many rewards for you. No, it’s not
realistic that you would do all of these activities each time
you want to make love, but once in awhile would make her feel
real special and make her appreciate you so much. You will
dazzle your woman and have her melting in your arms. The loving
act would be remembered and generate a reciprocal effect in
which she will want to please you and the relationship will grow
stronger and deeper.

Sensuous undressing is another powerful form of foreplay that
can stimulate and intensify sexual desire. Undress her very
slowly with lots of soft gentle kisses on the exposed body
parts. Focus on one piece of clothing at time. Look in her eyes
while unbuttoning or unzipping. Let her take your shirt off. Let
her feel your chest against hers. Hold and caress before moving
to more action.

Another trick to prolong satisfaction and build even more desire
is that once you have participated in some extended stimulating
foreplay and both of you can hardly stand it anymore, then take
the foreplay just a little bit further and escalate your hungers
to new heights.

As always, communication is the ever-important factor in great
sex. If your lover is not meeting your foreplay needs, then you
need to speak up and let them know. Tell them what you need or
what you would like to try. If speaking the words out loud is
too difficult then literally show and guide him. Men, ask your
woman what she needs. You can assume that some basics all women
will love, but they will also have individual needs. You don’t
want to do something she doesn’t enjoy. The enlightened lovers
participation in foreplay is not begrudging or the means to an
end, they fully enjoy savoring their woman with long sensuous
play and delight in bestowing her with pleasure as much as she
enjoys receiving. Sex is more satisfying for both partners. They
are astutely aware that all the benefits of foreplay put
together are important components that will help keep excitement
alive and prevent love from eroding or diminishing, thus
creating a stronger more fulfilling relationship in every way.