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Make Your Sex Sizzle with Foreplay By Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed. ©
2004

The importance of foreplay is often underestimated and minimized
or even ridiculed. The informed experienced lover will know that
not only is foreplay one of the most passionate ways to sweep
his woman off her feet, but it also increases intimacy, develops
trust and care, promotes emotional connection, deepens love and
has the ability to enhance his satisfaction as well.

First and foremost, adequate foreplay is essential to a woman’s
satisfaction and her ability to achieve orgasm. Women need
extended stimulation to reach optimal arousal. Adequate foreplay
consists of at least 15 minutes, but preferably 20 or more. This
is very important for couple’s to know. Many women have
difficulty reaching orgasm or experience dissatisfaction with
their sexual adventures and often the only cause of these
difficulties is the lack of adequate foreplay. Foreplay is
physiologically necessary for women’s pleasure, not an
unnecessary request she has created to make things more
difficult for the male. You can never spend too much time on
foreplay. It can only enhance the sexual encounter and the
relationship even more.

Foreplay has many other important purposes to keep in mind. It
shows your lover that you care about her and her needs. The way
you touch your woman indicates to her how you feel about her and
the way you feel about her impacts how she will respond to you
sexually and how pleasurable the sex will be for her. It
promotes emotional connection and deepens intimacy, which are
two more necessary components for sex to be satisfying for the
woman.

It is not only the female that benefits from foreplay. On a
biological level foreplay induces lubrication for the woman and
erection for the man. Taking time to sensuously explore and
relish one another’s bodies can significantly help with male
sexual problems such as premature ejaculation or impotence,
creating harder erections, increased stamina and more satisfying
sex for the male as well. As men grow older they may not get
erect by sight alone as they once did in younger years, extended
periods of touching, kissing and caressing can provide the
necessary stimulation needed for erection. Foreplay also builds
passion and generates fire making for a more electrifying sexual
adventure for both male and female.

Foreplay can include much more than basic touching, kissing,
holding and caressing. It can also consist of words and behavior
that will enhance the excitement and passion. In addition to
kissing, touching and holding you might try giving her a loving
compliment, expressing affectionate feelings or giving her a
gift such as flowers or lingerie. Foreplay does not always have
to begin immediately preceding the sexual act.

For a very special treat and to really light her fire foreplay
that begins in the morning and lasts all day will work even
better by producing a loving seduction. The scenario might go
something like this: you prepare your lover breakfast or bring
her tea and present it to her with a big kiss, before you leave
for the day place a sweet love note in a special place for her
to find, when you leave for the day hold and kiss her with a
deep passionate kiss, then call her later in the day from work
and asks how her day is and tell her you love her, or in the
call tell her how much you want her and you can’t wait to taste
her, later that day send her flowers or when you come home from
work bring her a beautiful gift, when you come in the door once
again she is greeted with hugs and kisses, before dinner you
give her a bath and caresses her feet or you take a shower
together, after dinner you clean up the kitchen and tell her to
go rest, then you join her in the living room and give her a
full body massage and spend at least 15 minutes holding, kissing
and licking. By this time her body will be aching with desire.

This little dance will reap many rewards for you. No, it’s not
realistic that you would do all of these activities each time
you want to make love, but once in awhile would make her feel
real special and make her appreciate you so much. You will
dazzle your woman and have her melting in your arms. The loving
act would be remembered and generate a reciprocal effect in
which she will want to please you and the relationship will grow
stronger and deeper.

Sensuous undressing is another powerful form of foreplay that
can stimulate and intensify sexual desire. Undress her very
slowly with lots of soft gentle kisses on the exposed body
parts. Focus on one piece of clothing at time. Look in her eyes
while unbuttoning or unzipping. Let her take your shirt off. Let
her feel your chest against hers. Hold and caress before moving
to more action.

Another trick to prolong satisfaction and build even more desire
is that once you have participated in some extended stimulating
foreplay and both of you can hardly stand it anymore, then take
the foreplay just a little bit further and escalate your hungers
to new heights.

As always, communication is the ever-important factor in great
sex. If your lover is not meeting your foreplay needs, then you
need to speak up and let them know. Tell them what you need or
what you would like to try. If speaking the words out loud is
too difficult then literally show and guide him. Men, ask your
woman what she needs. You can assume that some basics all women
will love, but they will also have individual needs. You don’t
want to do something she doesn’t enjoy. The enlightened lovers
participation in foreplay is not begrudging or the means to an
end, they fully enjoy savoring their woman with long sensuous
play and delight in bestowing her with pleasure as much as she
enjoys receiving. Sex is more satisfying for both partners. They
are astutely aware that all the benefits of foreplay put
together are important components that will help keep excitement
alive and prevent love from eroding or diminishing, thus
creating a stronger more fulfilling relationship in every way.

Unfortunately we come into contact with negativity everyday. We can’t avoid it. But we do not have to let ourselves be effected by it. So protect yourself from it.

If you travel to a foreign country, where you could possible catch a serious disease such as cholera, polio or malaria. Before you travel you get inoculated against it.

So how can you inoculate yourself against negativity?

Firstly, avoid as much media negativity as possible. Read newspapers and news channels that give you the facts, not hype and sensationalism. Avoid TV soaps. These programs are inclined to focus on the negative side of life. Watch educational programs, comedies, dramas and feel-good movies. Read books that stimulate your mind. All I am trying to say is avoid catching the negative disease as much as possible. Do not cut yourself off from the world just create a positive balance.

Secondly: Avoid, stop thinking and using negative thoughts.

Thoughts like:

•I know I can’t.

•I hate doing that.

•I can’t do that.

•I am not that lucky.

•It won’t work.

•I never win.

Thirdly, avoid mixing with negative people. I know you can choose your friends but not your relatives, so you can’t just go along and “boot out” your mother-in-law. But you can stop seeing friends with a negative attitude. I know it sounds drastic but truthfully these people are doing you harm. If you are positive about something a few choice negative words from these negative people could cause you to question your positive thought. In the worst case sinerio they could change your positive to a negative.

Fourthly, always try to answer a question with a positive statement.

For example: If you ask someone how they are feeling and they reply with a statement like. Oh OK I suppose. Come back with: Well, I feel great. If they start moaning about work and how bored they are. Say something like: Yes I know what you mean, but I have so many great ideas and I know that by this time next year I won’t be working in a boring job.

Get the idea. When someone deals you a negative, hit them back with a positive. Practise this regularly; treat it as a game of cards. Every time you are dealt a negative, trump it with a positive. In the end you won’t see it as a game, it will become second nature. You will be seen as Mr or Mrs Positive and will begin to attract people with the same positive attitude. These people will become your new friends and you will advance through life together.

If you look at all successful people. It could be in the field of sport, science or business. They all have one thing in common, they are positive. Success and happiness are not accidents that happen to some people and not to others. Success and happiness can be brought about by particular ways of behaving, which are in turn determined by our ways of thinking. In other word’s it’s not what happens to us that’s important, but the way we choose to interpret it that shapes our lives. You cannot always change everything in your life immediately but you can certainly change the way that you perceive it.

Negativity is dangerous. It drags us down physically, mentally and emotionally. It is the single largest destroyer of success. Negativity will destroy creativity, relationships, advancement and ultimately, happiness. Entertaining negative thoughts, without any doubt, tends to bring on the person concerned the very things they fear or dread, or on which they have focussed their attention. Negative thoughts often arise from fear, or from insecurity, or as the result of some bad experiences, they bring gloom and a loss of quality of life.

The individual in this situation ceases to live; he or she becomes content with merely existing, with seeking his or her own animal comfort, which is really to wallow in self-pity. Life becomes an intolerable burden for the individual, and that person makes life intolerable for others. In severe depression even the body itself becomes unbearable. The environment seems grey and without colour and it seems to be something seen at great distance, having no contact with the individual and bringing no surge of joy at its beauty.

If you think positive thoughts, positive things will happen around you. Consequently if you continuously think negative thoughts, negative things will happen around you. If you believe you will not succeed. I can guarantee you will fail. If you believe you can achieve and succeed you will. Positive thinking is infectious and leads to a ‘can do’ attitude within any individual that adopts this approach to life.

Just consider this short statement for a moment. Whatever you think, you’re right.

I once worked for possibly the most positive man I have ever met. He had a very positive attitude. He became highly educated and knowledgeable within his field. He always believed that he would live his dreams. After sometime as a successful salesman, he gained a junior management role and surrounded himself with positive thinking sales staff. There combined positive thinking made then a successful team. He consequently earned further promotion. Again he was successful and was rewarded with yet further promotion. Each time he was promoted he became responsible for more and more employees. By employing only positive thinking people he knew that he could only become more and more, and more successful himself.

He now holds a very senior position within a very large corporation. The business keeps growing and is going from strength to strength. You see the principle is easy. Think positive, surround yourself with positive energy and you cant fail.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Mark Claridge specializes in teaching motivational and self-development skills. Visit his site http://www.inthe6th.com In his new e-book “Mindset and Match” he covers amongst other subjects how having the correct mindset can bring you all you want out of life and is available at http://www.mindsetandmatch.com.

1. Love and serve all humanity. Either everyone is included in your affection or none. Either way you reach the same goal, the goal of ONE without the other.

2. Assist everyone. You are here to help everyone to rise to next step.

3. Be happy, be courteous. Be happy, it means to understand that misery is attachment to false and once understood, the love of truth will set you free. With the attitude of consideration of others, you are preventing the chaos and suffering in the world.

4. Be a dynamo of irrepressible joy.
You are a divine celebrating itself, so express your joy through your work, play and laughter. All is an expression of your love.

5. Recognize God and goodness in every face.
You are here to remind yourself again and again your own and others divinity. So look for good and goodness in everyone you see or encounter.

6. There is no saint without a past and no sinner without a future.
Saint or sinner, you are here to express your divinity here without self judgment, to uplift humanity.

7. Praise everyone. If you cannot praise someone, let them out of your life.
You expend a lot of energy in mutual relationship of reactive patterns because you are caught in the habit of judging others. Stop judging (do not look for reason, judgment is endless) and look for ways to praise, if you can not, then get out of the other person’s path if you can not resist to judge.

8. Be original, be inventive.
It means you are connected with your source and express your originality as if you have all the answers to address whatever immediate challenge is facing you.

9. Be courageous. Take courage again and again.
The entire world is sustained by few with courage. No matter how hopeless, it’s the courage of few which keeps the show going.

10. Do not imitate; be strong, be upright.
Imitation makes you poor and second hand. Be strong and straight in your expression

11. Do not lean on the crutches of others.
Never lean which means you care your own dignity. Leaning on other shows your lack of self knowledge.

12. Think with your own head. Be yourself.
All your challenges are unique and there is no second person who knows you better than yourself. So by all means be yourself and stand for yourself.

13. All perfection and every divine virtue are hidden within you. Reveal them to the world.
Don’t look for the perfection outside but express your own perfection with the strong belief that it’s inherent and inbuilt in you.

14. Wisdom, too, is already within you. Let it shine forth.
All the wisdom is available if you are ready and open to all that you encounter.

15. Let the Lord’s grace set you free.
It’s the grace alone which frees, it’s just the matter of recognition which opens up an express way without return.

16. Let your life be that of the rose; in silence, it speaks the language of fragrance.
Stay with your virtues in silence and its fragrance will speak alone, no other language is required.

Before you start looking for a home, figure out what you can
realistically afford to pay per month. Check out the market in
the area you want to buy. Find out what price houses are going
for and what the payments are per month. Remember that you may
end up paying a little more per month than someone with a
conventional bank loan, so keep that in mind as you figure out
what you can afford.

You are going to have to work harder to find a home you can get
without a loan. You will have to shop around more. So,
concentrate on your needs in housing before your wants. Make a
list of the minimum that you will accept in a house. Only write
down your essential needs. Do you have to have three bedrooms or
can you make do with less? Do you have to have a two-car garage
or will a carport do? Do you have to have a single story home
for health reasons? How close do you have to be to a school?

Make a separate list of the things you want. Wants might include
things like a pool or hot tub, a walk-in closet, wooden floors,
a deck, or a certain type of architecture. It would be nice if
you can find a home with some of your wants, but to begin with,
concentrate on finding a home that meets your needs. Often many
of these things can be added to a home later.

Also make a third list of things you absolutely do not want in a
home, such as: too many stairs to climb, a fixer-upper, certain
areas of town you dislike, a location too close to a freeway, or
a location too far from the center of town.

You may not be in a position to be too picky. Perhaps you can
make do with a smaller home for now, while you establish your
credit and get equity in the smaller home. Then you will be in a
position to trade that home in for a bigger home.

Re-establishing your financial footing is not as difficult as it
used to be, but it is impossible if you attempt to buy more
house than makes sense. Be conservative!

From the book “Buying a Home When You Have Bad Credit– 12 Ways
to Purchase a House When You Can’t Get a Home Loan” by Alexis
Dey. © 2005-6 Mohave Publishing. All rights reserved. HREF=http://I-can-buy.com rel="nofollow">http://I-can-buy.com

Modest improvements, and major personal transformations, in any area of life are now possible for almost anyone – and all without drugs.

The question is no longer whether personal change is possible for you, but rather: do you want it?

Some people, a small minority, are perfectly happy now and desire no change at all.

Others would be happy to just improve — modestly or substantially — in one or two areas of life, perhaps lose some weight, or reduce their stress, or stop biting their nails, or improve their performance in sports, such as golf, or their performance in school with test-taking for better grades or the achievement of a professional certification.

Finally, there are others who want major personal transformation, who aspire, to quote Henry David Thoreau, “to live with the license of a higher order of beings”.

Thoreau also wrote that most of us live lives of “quiet desperation”. Why? Why do so many people settle for drifting in the status quo sea of a second-rate survival? There are four reasons why most people settle for living on and on with negative issues that they could eliminate or dramatically improve. Each reason is associated with a category or group of people, and I’ll bet you fall into one of these four groups of people.

The first group of people has actually tried to make positive changes in the past but have had little or no success. They have relied completely on conscious mind technology and its tools of willpower, traditional affirmations, talk therapy and positive thinking. These tools of the conscious mind have their place, as far as they go. The problem is they usually don’t go very far. Willpower, for example, is excellent for brief bursts of activity or denial. But it usually proves useless for lasting results.

Second, many people, with their busy lives, are simply unaware that advances in personal transformation technologies have made relatively rapid and dramatic changes quite possible.

A third group of people have heard about such changes but are skeptical; they are especially skeptical that it will work for them.

Finally, a fourth group of people is neither unaware nor skeptical but have settled in to a comfort zone below their potential. They have become rather apprehensive about change, even positive change. Eventually, as the years pass by, these people frequently have major regrets about their failure to act and to make the most out of their lives.

Well, did you notice yourself fitting into any of these kinds of people? Or perhaps you felt you are more of a blend of a couple of these.

The bottom line is that no matter what categories you do or do not fall into, positive change – often of a dramatic nature – can be yours. Yours no matter what the past has been, if – and it is a big if – if you really want it and are committed to it.

There are a few people who can change their lives positively and dramatically all by themselves. Most of us, however, will do much better with the guidance of a coach. Gone are the days when a coach was just for athletes who want to improve. Now everybody who wants to improve in almost any area of life will benefit from professional coaching.

While there is no such thing as a panacea that will magically make all your problems go away, advances in personal transformation now make positive personal change a reality for just about anybody.

If not now, when? A better you delayed is a better you denied.

Gary Patrick is an author, speaker and mind-body coach. He is the founder of Rapid Results. His interest in both fitness training and hypnosis began in his teenage years. At first, Gary Patrick engaged in self-study to learn hypnosis. Since then he has studied with master hypnotists Ormand McGill, Paul McKenna, Gerald Kein, Jerry Valley, and Tom Nicoli. In recent years, he has become more and more interested in Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT). EFT works well on a variety of challenges, often more quickly than anything else. When EFT is combined with hypnosis, they become a powerful double whammy for positive change. Gary Patrick has studied in person with Gary Craig, the founder of EFT. His lifelong quest for learning has led him from high-school drop-out to Ph.D., from Certified Personal Trainer to Certified Anti-aging Professional, and from Certified Hypnotist and Certified NLP Practitioner to Advanced EFT Certificate holder. He mixes these modalities together to provide each client with a unique, individually-tailored approach. Visit Gary at http://rapidresults.biz.

If a person has an experience that is physically, mentally or emotionally traumatic, the mind deals with the situation in one of several different ways. Some people abuse alcohol, food, drugs or other substances to numb the feelings they have inside. Others mourn for a short period of time, restore their faith, balance and sanity, and somehow miraculously move on. But the rest of us left over, usually those who are very analytical and logical, have trouble processing deeply troubling situations. So, we replay the painful situation over and over again in our minds, searching for an answer. But the problem is, the answer cannot be found in the rational mind, because the problem is on an emotional plain. Therefore, the solution has to come from the heart, which needs to be healed and restored.

Here is the step by step process I have adapted to end obsessive thinking about an Ex:

Step 1:

Don’t take anything your Ex ever said or did personally, because nothing your Ex ever said or did was about you. Even if your Ex downright blames you for everything that went wrong in your relationship, realize their statement is only coming from who they are, which has absolutely nothing to do with the person you are.

Step 2:

However, not taking your Ex personally is a two sided coin. If during the heat of an argument you react and tell your Ex what an idiot THEY are, and how everything is THEIR fault, then it has nothing to do with them. Your statements only reflect the kind of person you are, which is a person who likes to blame and judge. This has nothing to do with your Ex. Therefore, consciously make an effort to be the person you are, regardless of how your Ex is behaving. Make a list of all the qualities you admire in others, for example: kindness, confidence, compassion, and respect. Chances are you already possess the qualities within yourself. Be very careful not to make statements that don’t reflect who you are, even when you may be tempted to give into the hurt and anger you feel.

Step 3:

Release your judgments and opinions by becoming friends with Death. As morbid as this sounds, realize that in 100 years, you and your Ex will likely be dead, and nothing you ever fought about will be remembered. If your Ex has the obsessive need to be right and argue with you about everything, give in to their whim and say, “You are absolutely right.” Not only will this reinforce your relationship with Death and save you a tremendous amount of personal power, your Ex will find it impossible to argue with you because you are giving the non-verbal message that it really doesn’t matter. As one my favorite authors Wayne Dyer once said, “Have you ever noticed how hard it is to argue with someone who isn’t obsessed with being right?”

Step 4:

If the hurt and anger is overwhelming, distance yourself from your Ex completely. And no matter what, get on your knees and pray for your Ex every morning. Pray that your Ex will be granted all of the health, wealth and happiness you wish for yourself. Even if you are not a religious person, or you don’t believe in God, the act itself is liberating.

In twelve step programs, such as Alcoholics Anonymous, they are taught to pray for people they have a deep resentment towards. At first, you will not mean a word of the prayer. But if you say the prayer consistently for two weeks, you will come to genuinely mean it, and find that there is a part of you that realizes your Ex is just a human being, with their own imperfections, weaknesses and short comings. If you go deeper, you will realize your Ex may also be a very hurt and scared person – even if they outwardly seem very hostile, aggressive and manipulative. Of course, no matter what happened to your Ex in their childhood or even in their day to day life – it does not give them a reason to mistreat you. But by being aware of the fact that your Ex has a certain set of issues to deal with on their own time, it will help you replace the hurt and anger you feel with compassion and understanding.

Step 5:

Own your personal power. Because when you are who you are, regardless of the situation or circumstance that comes your way, then this transforms you into a very powerful person. This is the step that absolutely baffles your Ex, because by you being who you are, and not letting them get you down – it sends your Ex the non-verbal message that you are who you are and they are who they are. But most importantly, it tells your Ex that you are not going to take any of their crap! When you respond to your Ex’s hostility with kindness, and your Ex’s blame with compassion, it frustrates them to no end, because your Ex cannot get you to play their game.

Step 6:

Come to understand that you are doing all of this work for no other reason than to realize who you are, restore your sense of balance, and reclaim your personal power. If you do all of this work in order to manipulate your Ex, and make them want you back, your Ex will subconsciously sense your intentions, because at one point or another, you will slip and let your intentions be known without realizing it. When this happens, you will give all of your power back to your Ex, and will have to start all over again with Step 1.

Step 6 is often tricky, because if you master each step up to this point, your Ex may very well want to reconcile. At the very least, your Ex will begin responding to the kindness you send their way in a positive fashion. But regardless if you want to get back together with your Ex, just be friends, or just get over the obsessive thinking – remember your sole purpose is to realize who you are, restore your sense of balance, and reclaim your personal power. If you do all of this work just to manipulate your Ex into responding the way you want them to, it may work for a very short period of time. But I guarantee your Ex will pick up on the fact that your intentions are not genuine, and you will lose your personal power. Not only that, but when you genuinely become who you are, you attract the right kind of people to your life. And maybe your Ex is not the person you are meant to be with! And the only way you will know if you are meant to be with your Ex or anyone else is if you are genuinely who you are.

Step 7:

Forgive your Ex, no matter what they did or didn’t do. Unfortunately, it may not be enough at this point to say, “I forgive my ex.” And leave it at that. Forgiveness has little to do with words, and more to do with action. Before proceeding with this step, I recommend reading up on the topic of forgiveness, and reading heroic stories about the power of forgiveness. I once read a story about a woman whose daughter was brutally raped and murdered by a man that was eventually caught and sent to prison. As anyone can imagine, the woman spent years of her life in rage and obsession over what this man had done to her daughter. I am sure there are no words to express how much pain this woman was feeling. However, she somehow stumbled on a book entitled, The Course of Miracles and began reading about what the power of forgiveness could do for her. She started to pray for the man, and eventually sent him a letter, letting him know she had forgiven him for the actions he took against her daughter, even though she didn’t condone his behavior. To make a long story short, the man wrote the woman back and apologized profusely. The woman felt compelled to see this young man in prison, and she held him as he cried during their first visit. To make a long story short, they became friends, and she became his number one advocate in attempts to release him from prison.

There are not a lot of people walking on the planet as courageous as this woman, but it is an extreme example of what is possible within each one of us. I thought about this woman before I reached out to my Ex with forgiveness in my heart. I sent a gift to my Ex and the woman my Ex left me for, which seemed to pale in comparison to this woman’s story. Of course, it took me a little over a year to reach that point, and a lot of soul searching. To this day, I love my Ex with all of my heart on a platonic level. We live in two totally different cities, but still call and send each other emails on occasion as good friends.

I am also in a healthy relationship with someone I am deeply in love with. Next week will be our two year anniversary. I do not think I would be as happy and as deeply in love with this new person as I am now, had I not let go of the anger, bitterness, and resentment I once felt towards my Ex, which is another reason why forgiveness is so important.

A lot of people believe turning off your feelings for a person you once were in a romantic relationship with, or even hating them is a way to show that they are “over” the person. But I believe the exact opposite is true. When you are completely “over” a person, you really wish them nothing but the best – and you are totally detached emotionally from how they act or react. Another point to consider is the fact that love isn’t real unless you loved your Ex for the person they are, not the person you wanted them to be. And just because the romantic relationship didn’t work out, doesn’t mean your Ex isn’t a lovable person.

Rhiannon Rose is the co-founder of Lover of Love, an online community dedicated to igniting the love that is already inside of each person, and nurturing this love until it grows and grows for everyone and everything to enjoy! Fall in love with the process, and you will officially become a lover of love! Visit http://www.loveroflove.com for hundreds of articles, poems and quotations to ignite the love in your heart!

Do you have at least one garment in your closet that you never wear because it makes you look fat? Maybe you take it out and try it on every now and then but it still doesn’t flatter. It doesn’t matter what you weigh you can easily make yourself look fat with the wrong clothes. Learn these basic camouflage rules and you’ll never make the same mistake again.

1. Avoid anything stiff. A stiff garment forms a square box around you. It doesn’t fall into flattering loose folds but stands out on its own making even skinny people look large. Having a shape is important whatever your size.

2. The same goes for the large tents that we try to camouflage ourselves in. It doesn’t work we just look larger. Shape is needed.

3. Other than in your accessories don’t wear anything shiny. Shiny is great for jewelry, bags, decorative motifs, scarves, but not for a whole garment. Shine reflects the light making you look bigger and showing every curve and bump.

4. You know about avoiding horizontal stripes but are you aware of hidden stripes? A belt in a contrasting shade, large top pockets, contrasting ribbing on the bottom of a jersey? These are all stripes and can make you look larger than you wish. Look carefully at a garment to check for these design traps and avoid them.

5. Conversely, subtle vertical stripes are (usually) your friend. Find them in a garment’s style and stitching, a deeply cut V-necked jacket, a silk scarf hanging loosely, long beads, the drape of pants or skirt etc.

6. But vertical stripes on tightly clinging leggings or pants are not flattering. The stripes follow your curves, emphasizing them cruelly.

7. Avoid bulky fabrics such as quilted parkas- these often offend on two counts, one by horizontally machined quilting and another by too much padding. They look enormous and so does anyone who wears them. Thick mohair jumpers are another fattener. Thinner fabrics, such as polar fleece, can be equally warm so there is no need to bulk up.

8. On the other hand don’t buy cheap thin fabrics. A fabric must have enough body to hang well rather than clinging. Even T-Shirts in cheap thin fabrics look dreadful and they don’t last as long so are not really cheaper. Buy fewer and buy quality.

9. Monochrome dressing is slimming and elegant. Dress in one color from top to toe, preferably a dark neutral. For interest vary textures or add color in your accessories. A plain black outfit with a turquoise silk scarf or bright pink earrings for example.

10. Don’t wear frills and ruffles if you have passed your 10th birthday. They add bulk and look tacky.

11. Beware of clothes that are too small, they are fattening. Not only are they unflattering but wearing them makes you feel fat all day. If a garment is tight chuck it out or pack it away until it fits again.

12. If you have put on a pound or two don’t forget to check your bra. Does it still fit? Its so easy to forget and to keep wearing a bra that fitted once. Badly fitting bras create horrible bulges across your back, treat yourself to a new one.

If you bear these tips in mind when shopping for clothes you will have a much better chance of losing a pound or two and looking great.

For information about weight loss and fitness and to lose actual pounds visit http://www.trim-you.com/

About the author:

This article was written by Liz Beresford. Liz is a registered nurse and owns and operates http://www.trim-you.comwhere you can find news and up to date information about various weight loss diets and supplements.

In the latter part of 2005 & early 2006, gas prices have been
increased several times, amounting in an estimated average rise
of 60% for domestic energy consumers. Now, more than ever, is
the time to shop around for a cheaper supplier.

Did you know that the average sized household can make
considerable savings on gas bills compared to your local area
suppliers rates, just by effecting a simple change over online?

It is very easy to change energy suppliers, and should only take
a few minutes of your time. Moving to a new energy supplier is
not risky, as most suppliers are National Plc’s who you can
trust and all of them are regulated by the government to ensure
a high level of service.

When changing your gas suppliers, there will be no interruption
to your supply. The same wires, pipes, and meters as you
currently use will be used by your new supplier. Your new
supplier will also contact your existing supplier to arrange the
transfer of your supply. The only change you will notice is that
your bill will come from a different supplier and it will be
cheaper.

You may want to consider changing other utility services, as
well. Combine your gas &
electricity bills with the same company & you can make even
more savings. Some companies even offer to package deals with
telephone and mobile phone services to offer much greater
overall savings.

* The process of switching energy suppliers is simple, and by
following the steps below you can do this swiftly & painlessly
online:

First find a price comparison service to source your best option
for the biggest savings. Choose a website that is endorsed by
Energy Watch if you like for added peace of mind.

Fill in your personal details, this takes around five minutes
and you will then be presented with a list of possible companies
in your area to change to. Generally this will be the cheapest,
but you can also find out which suppliers have the best service
ratings & which provide green tariffs e.t.c. Once you have
decided who to switch to, sign up online, and step 1 is complete.

The details are processed and forwarded to the supplier, who
will contact you to confirm the date on which your new service
will commence. You will have to take a meter reading on this
date, this will ensure that you are not billed twice for the
same energy. You will also be asked to sign and return a form
that confirms the switch - this is a legal requirement, if you
do not sign, the switch will not proceed.

The whole process takes approximately 28 days.

We messed up. When we err, we need to admit it and move to
correct the wrong. Black folks have been complaining about BET
programming for ages when, in actuality, they’ve been checking
it out on the “down low.”

Listening to the negativity over the years, even I was shocked
to find out there were so many closet watchers secretly hooked
on BET Nightly News. I’ve gotten calls and emails from people
all over the country upset about BET’s decision to cancel the
program. Many of them say that BET is their only real connection
to the Black community, and, for many organizations it is often
the only TV coverage they receive.

It’s not just the over 40 crew tuning in each night for an
update on what’s happening in Black America, young people of all
nationalities are aware of current events in the Black world
thanks to BET Nightly News.

After constant criticism of BET programming, the Black community
was incensed when Robert Johnson made a savvy business move and
sold the company to Viacom. As many people predicted, the
nightly newscast hit the chopping block.

If we do not want all of Black media to fold or get sucked up by
mainstream conglomerates, we must recognize that news is a
product governed by the laws of supply and demand. The more we
watch our own news, read and subscribe to our print publications
and praise the work, the more that business can flourish.

Since slavery Black publications have been consistent advocates
in our community and are still the first people called when
there’s a problem. Unless it’s celebrity driven or blood ridden,
mainstream press does not address our issues until there’s
sufficient buzz created in the Black press.

For example, recently several stories appeared in the Black
press about the lack of concern for missing Black women. Those
stories resulted in coverage in mainstream media including USA
Today. And, no one can deny the impact George Curry’s article on
Kemba Smith had on her case and the criminal justice system as a
whole.

For those of you who believe Black media has out-lived its
usefulness, Richard Prince’s Journal-isms recently reported that
The New York Times Co. is starting a Black newspaper in
Gainesville, Fla. I’m not mad at the New York Times for their
efforts to increase revenue by targeting the Black market; I’m
sad that we do not recognize our own value and repeatedly take
our struggling media institutions for granted.

There are Black publications - like the 100 year-old Chicago
Defender - that have served as the voice of the community for
years. Among those already in Florida are the Broward Times,
Weekly Challenger, Westside Gazette, and Jacksonville Advocate;
why would New York Times start their own Black newspaper in
Florida?

Here’s a clue. Katherine Stapp of Inter Press Service recently
reported that the first nationwide assessment of
foreign-language and other ethnic media found that ethnic radio,
television and newspapers in the United States now reach 64
million people. However, the article adds, Sandy Close of New
California Media says “only three to four percent of the 145
billion dollars spent on U.S. advertising goes to ethnic media.”
With these figures we can expect to see more profit-oriented
mainstream publishers setting up shop to get a piece of the
lucrative “ethnic” market.

One might mention the quality factor. It is true that budget
limitations prevent Black media from providing the glitz and
glamour comparable to that of mainstream press. Don’t criticize,
take action.

Start by subscribing to a Black publication today. If your cable
station does not offer TV One or the Black Family Channel, make
a request to your cable provider. If they don’t respond, this is
your opportunity to complain. For those of you with, or in
charge of advertising budgets, make sure Black media is a major
line item in your campaign. We need to be proactive, not
reactive.

What if public relations professionals would not service Black
media if a client only spent adverting dollars with mainstream?
What if, instead of refusing interviews with Black press,
publicists granted exclusives to Black media for A-list clients?
Imagine the impact if Will & Jada, Denzel, Halle, Jamie, Usher,
Nelson, and Rev. Al only spoke with Black Media. Blacks are a
driving force internationally, leveraging our power for just one
week would position Black media across the globe. It’s time for
Black America to put up or shut up.

As the end nears for BET Nightly News I urge you to stop
complaining and take a minute to plead the case for the
newscast. If you would like to see BET continue to provide their
excellent coverage of Black news and events send a note to BET
explaining why it is important to keep the show on the air.
Email, fax, or send your message in a bottle, but let them know
that we do support the work that BET is doing for the community.
For those who don’t watch the newscast, stand up for those who
do.

The “look what they did to us now” approach is ineffective in
the new millennium. It’s time for Black folks to come out the
closet and demonstrate a little “Black Pride.”

Women are simply wonderful don’t you think? This question is not just aimed at us men but to women also! Throughout my life women have played a massive part in my upbringing from my Mother, my Aunts and to my very lovely and sadly missed Grandmother. These women have nurtured me and shown me what it takes to really be a man. How did they do that? Well! Somehow they just did and God they do it so well.

Men’s fascination with women be you straight or gay is so open to many questions that men can never actually quite answer but if you talk to a woman the odds are that if you ask them the right questions you will get the right answers. It’s this innate goodness that they naturally have which most men don’t really understand. So what do we do as men, we keep most of our emotions locked deep within us and we never really truly say what we really feel and want. Now that’s when all the problems start, don’t get me wrong now some men are very open with their feelings but most men are pretty much isolated in regards to how they feel and what they say…For instance take me, I have only ever really been in love maybe once or twice in my life so far and in those two separate occasions my feelings for the two women actually grew much stronger when It appeared that I was losing their love.

I felt in love at the start but that really was not the case and as I got to really know each of these two women, I loved them but I was not in love until I could no longer be with them.

It’s amazing how this situation happens so many times in relationships. It always starts as Lust and Infatuation but then it becomes just ok! Then there is that tedious period where you are both a bit lost with each other and you do all you can to revive it but in reality you can’t because you know that you both have changed somewhat and silly things like life in general helps change your view of the person you are with. Then one day its all over and yes we all do what we can to deal with it but for me the end was always where I could finally see just how much I was in love with the person and then I would look like and act like a fool to try to resolve the situation but again it would always be too late. Why! Well as a man my true feelings were hidden and I could never find the right things to say when it really mattered. Life is hard but you know what, we make it so hard especially us men…we should really do much more to understand our women and women as a whole!

Women are seen as sex objects in so many ways that these days you are blinded by just how beautiful and natural women are. We desire them the same way we desire money, in fact within today’s society both are pretty much the same to many men. From those immortal words from the main character from the movie ‘Scarface’ where he says, ‘You get the money, you get the power and you get the women’. This is so true and its how most men see women. When the young see all these images of women parading around practically naked in rap videos and other mediums where women are somewhat idolises, it’s us men who really benefit the most from it, I sometimes wonder and ask other women just what they think about this and the most of the time the woman would put the blame on women, where you would think that they would be angry at men!

On many occasions I have seen or heard where the man does wrong i.e. let’s say, he cheats on his girlfriend, instead of blaming the boyfriend the girl would go after the girl he cheated with…go figure! Women these days for me can be their worse own enemy.

Women truly just want to be loved but it’s us men who don’t know why they want that, so we screw things up all the time and it’s always the woman who has to pick up the pieces. There are some great men out there who are very open with their feelings and good on them but there is still a vast majority of men around the world who because of
lack of intelligence choose to disrespect women in so may ways to the point it seems that they almost hate women which I think most men do anyway because they fear what they don’t understand. In a woman’s world things look and feel different, to them I feel that they see life more clearly. In a man’s world men almost feel that they are held back, we view women as objects to be used and abused mentally and physically. If it was ever possible to find a common ground between the sexes that would be understanding. In my life I have been lucky enough to really understand most women but still I feel like a novice when it comes to truly understanding what women want. So the lesson continues and it’s a lesson where in truth I just have to learn and that should apply to all the men in the world.

Mark J Stevens©